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Sometimes I want to fall into the bad old days of depression when I didn't give a fuck about anything. It feels so relieving to feel that way, in a sick sense. Of course I know depression is a killer and wouldn't wish it on anyone, but I miss the feeling of obliviousness.
It feels good to not have the pressure of having to do anything.
It's so easy to just give up and give in...unfortunately that's not always the best thing to do :/
i deal with depression quite frequently and agree with you. it's very hard to be motivated or interested in anything and be close to people and want to isolate when depressed.
I know exactly what you mean. I have seasonal depression and last winter for example i found myself yelling at the people who love me telling them to stop loving me, and that i don't want them to love me. And in the moment i meant every word. It's weird because in a way, when your depressed you dont want to be happy. It's like your demons are your only friends and you sort of love it, just because its constant. It's a constant thing in your life and you can always rely on that darkness.
So what your saying makes COMPLETE sense and it's totally normal. anyone who says it's not normal probably has never dealt with depression.
So dont give up! keep giving fucks about things!
That's the depression playing tricks on, it quit common for people who suffer from depression to feel this way and stop taking their medication.