Isn that my boyfriend is more sexually attracted me than i am to him?

I enjoy spending non-sexual time with my boyfriend a lot, because im not that excited about being in bed with him.

He finds me very attractive, and him wanting me that that much can ocassionally turn me on. His voice can too, but normally thats unintentional.

But...I cant get turned on by any expressions on his face or general attractiveness of his body, kissing him tastes terrible, and I cant give him a bj w/o feeling like I will barf.

I dont get turned on at looking at dicks in general (only feeling how wet it is) nor do I enjoy sex that often. I can only orgasm by him eating me out.

I pull through this sexual attractiveness stuff because I love mostly everything else about him, im very open with him so we've discussed most of these issues.

Voting Results
23% Normal
Based on 13 votes (3 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 12 )
  • RoseIsabella

    Girl, you're wasting your life, and living a lie!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • Well, most of this relationship has been an LDR. Also, I realise the reasons I get a bit disgusted is because he recently told me he hasnt taken as good care of himself hygine wise.

      Its not something you notice right away if your not even physically seeing eachother most of the time.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • RoseIsabella

        Damn, well tell him to clean his ass up, girl.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
  • cipro

    Your relationship will not last too long it seems.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • Youre right if you assumed it was a physical relationship. Hell, I dont think he would last 2yrs of not having sex. But its been an LDR for the most part, these issues only came up when I got to meet with him.

      If anything its come to my attention he hasnt had the best hygine, not brushing his teeth often and um his taste. Hes from Europe so he hasnt gotten that skin cut off from birth if you know what I mean.

      Other than that I still find him attractive, its not impossible that ocassionally I see him and think hes really cute. Its just that he like really loves my body (and me!) While I enjoy how he is a lot more.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • trexagireve

    Just punish his bad balls for being so horny, slap them because life is not only about sex

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • LornaMae

    That sounds awful. If you like everything about him except the sex, you've just given us a perfect description of what a friend is... :/

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Boojum

    So, for whatever reason, you're generally not that interested in sex, and you're totally indifferent when it comes to sex with your boyfriend.

    Maybe that's just you, because you have some serious sexual hang-ups. Maybe he's just crap when it comes to sex. Or maybe there just isn't a good sexual fit between you two.

    Sex isn't the be-all and end-all of a good, long-term relationship, but a good sexual connection and the ability to give each other sexual pleasure greatly enhances any relationship, while a crap sexual relationship can put a huge strain on a relationship. Sex isn't just about pleasant friction in various places. It's about being able to be open with the other person, wanting to give them pleasure, and being willing to receive pleasure from them. It sounds like that's something you can't do... at least not with your current guy.

    Frankly, you're both settling. He deserves better than being with someone who dislikes the way he sounds, looks, and tastes, and who wants to puke when she gives him oral sex. You shouldn't be with him just because you get an ego boost from being with someone who's besotted with you (which is what it sounds like you're doing).

    I've been in relationships with women who weren't that into sex and with women who loved sex. The latter were a helluva lot more fun on many levels. He should have the guts to go find someone who likes him more and is more compatible, as should you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • Yeah its not the end, I mean I forgot to mention the relationship for the most part has been an LDR, so Ive got to know him through calling and texting but not exactly through his body. Its only because I recently got to meet up with him that I see these uh issues.

      I think I also left the impression that we dont do anything sexual, I do and dont mind it I just dont enjoy it that much. I prefer cuddling or watching a movie together.

      Also the reasons Ive said and gotten a bit disgusted was because he hasnt had the best hygine before I finally got the chance to meet him. It explains why he tasted kinda funny.
      And, I do like his voice, its just not everyday it turns me on.

      To me hes attrative in the normal sense, I love how he is and all. Its just the tastes can bother me, and im just aware that hes not the most attrative man out there. I just wonder if this can be an issue later? Will it matter when we are both so old?

      Anyway, how much differently would you see this if I told you those things? Id just like to know since youve given a lot of feedback and I appriciate it!

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • Boojum

        Tastes and smells are very important. We all like to think we're more than animals - and in some ways we are - but humans have lingering bits of our prehuman ancestors' brains, and those affect us in ways we're not conscious of. For example, a famous experiment found that when women were presented with a selection of t-shirts that men had worn for a couple of days (without bathing or using any other scent), the ones they found nicest smelling were from men who were most genetically different from themselves (genetic difference tends to produce healthier offspring).

        From what you say and how you say it, I assume you're American. Being American-born and having lived in Europe for most of my life, I'm well aware of the differences in hygiene standards. Having said that, it isn't the case that all Europeans are smelly dirty-bags. It's just that most don't make personal hygiene a fetish and spend hours in the shower every day.

        Maybe he is just a grubby guy who has low standards of personal care. Or maybe you're just experiencing a little culture-shock at encountering someone who smells like a human being rather than synthetic perfumes?

        As for "taste", I take it you're talking about his uncircumcised penis as well as his mouth.

        Assuming he doesn't have any chronic dental issues, you'd probably find the taste of his mouth became less noticeable if you were together longer. Not only would you be eating the same food and have time to get accustomed to him, but I'm sure I've read something about the transfer of the oral bacteria we all have making couples smell similar.

        From personal experience, my wife lived in another country when we met, and I did notice that she tasted and smelled "different" - orally, vaginally, and general body scent - from British women I'd known. Not bad or anything, just different. My awareness of that faded over time.

        As for his penis, I have no personal experience of dealing with a foreskin, but I know that they can get smelly, and some guys must make a real effort to keep it clean in order to avoid things getting pungent down there. You say you've discussed "most things" with him. If you've talked about this and he's made no effort to make things better, then I'd suggest you need to consider what that signifies.

        As for you not enjoying sex that much, a lot of women don't realise that only a minority of women (20-25% are the figures I've seen) are capable of reaching orgasm through PIV intercourse alone. For most women, the clitoris is too far from the vagina for it to receive sufficient stimulation by penile thrusting only. There are techniques and positions which make sex a lot more enjoyable and orgasm possible for such women, but that requires a willingness to experiment on the part of both people.

        As I'm sure you appreciate, sex, love, and relationships in general are nothing like they are in the movies. It's foolish to expect the earth to move every time your eyes meet across a crowded room, and even when that does happen at the start, the feeling virtually inevitably fades over time. In some ways, even though it doesn't meet the culturally accepted norms of what love should be like, it's a lot better in the long run to find someone you actually like and respect as a human being, and then make a conscious decision to work together to build a positive relationship. If there is a good match on a deep level, you're both willing to be honest in a caring, respectful way, and and you're willing to make the effort and compromise when necessary, it is possible you could find a very deep sort of love growing.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
  • HeTalksInMaths

    How old are you? I am guessing about 15-16, which makes this fairly normal. as long as you told him how you feel and he's free to leave you if he doesn't like the circumstances, then it's fine - some people love in ways other than sex, just make sure he's ok with it, otherwise it's pointless to stay together.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • Yep, he is completely free but he insists we stay together. Then again its been an LDR for the most part so hes gotten somewhat used to it?

      Im aware though, when we do meet together hes a lot more on the uh, sexual side of things than I am. This doesnt mean Im not willing to do it though, I was more just trying to say I enjoy it less often than he does. The few times we have anyway.

      And ehm I may have realised part of the reason I found things gross was due to some poor hygine habits he may have. I do want to kiss him, and other things it just tasted funny.

      Comment Hidden ( show )