Isitnormal that i cut and am depressed even though i should be happy

Maybe stress? Dont really know enough about you to say. When you have depression it just becomes a part of you if you dont take medication for it. I quit my anti depressants at 15 and Im just now learning to live with it and figuring out how to be happy (now 20, though Im not saying it will or did take you the same amount of time). Im no psychotherapist, but Ive found that stress can open up depression for me, and I would use weed to ignore the problems causing my stress and thus furthering my depression. Ive smoked a lot lot lot of weed and experimented with this and that, so Im not saying theres anything wrong with smoking, just in my own experience, it's easy for me to smoke out every chance I can and let my problems go unsolved and it never really does me any good.

Maybe your cutting is something similar? Putting something off by doing something that demands your full attention for a while?

Definitely seek professional help and give medication a chance. I don't know if you didn't like the way medication made you feel or if you believe using medication makes you a weak person (it doesn't). But my ex girlfriend was a cutter and she sought help for it. She hasn't cut herself in over 5 years.

What do you feel like before you cut? By any chance do you feel dissociative, like you're not real or life isn't real?

I used to have a similar problem, I won't give my life story of course but do you have anybody you can talk to?

Such as professionally? A counsellor, a therapist, someone who is there to help you? And believe me, I know, it's a pain to take meds but give them a chance, ask your doctor what would be the best sort, if you do decide to give meds another chance.

Aside from that, I really do encourage you to try and talk to someone about this, because you seem a sweet person and these things can be tough to get through but you can do it. :)

Dude i used to cut in high school and im completely better now. I dont even think about it anymore. I saw a really nice councilor and i slowly realized that cutting wasnt helping me solve anything. It started to make me feel worse rather than better. Im so much happier now that i stopped, its a big weight off my shoulders. Ill say a prayer for you hon! You're not alone

Thanks for all the replies, serious or not.
I have tried counseling and whatnot, wasn't for me. I hated talking to that man.

The weed and cigarettes help deal with those urges but aren't enough all the time.

Pfft, I'll be fine, what am I even talking about.

Start taking your anti-depressants again. You likely are one of the few people who need them. Especially if you were fine on them. I know it sucks to depend on meds but it's worth it for some people.

First of all ditch the weed. Second of all...go to a therapist. You should be seeing a doctor and if you don't want to take medication you should be pursuing all avenues that aren't medicine...therapy being a big one. Meditation is also great. Full Catastrophe Living is a great book on Mindful Meditation and how it helps stress and anxiety (and physical pain).

That's pretty heavy doc.

Yes it is normal, dont listen to all these emo fagues that have given you thumbs down. at least you realise your being an idiot, at least thats what ive deduce from your title, as for the rest tldr cry moar.