Is wanting to meet up with my girlfriend more 2 times weekly "clingy"?

8 Comments

College is out for me - it has been for almost a month - and I was excited at the chance to spend more time with my girlfriend of almost 5 months (we were good friends for 5 months before that). At college we see each other every day, but only in short "segments" and we never got the chance to spend much "quality time" together watching a movie, having a meal, or doing anything fun like that.

The problem is that now college is out she doesn't want to spend any time with me. Last week we only saw each other twice, and two weeks ago we didn't see each other at all for 9 days. When I asked her about this, and said I would like to see her more frequently, she said I was being "too clingy" and I should "have my own life". This conversation was over Facebook, which we still use every day to talk to each other, but we seem to be talking less online as well as face-to-face.

I don't thing it's unreasonable of me to want to meet up with her at least every two days. I only live a 10 minute bus ride away from her, so it isn't a long distance relationship. She insists she does enjoy spending time with me, but says "it's a pain". She never gives me a straight answer if I ask what's so "painful" about meeting up with me once in a while, which makes me think this might not be the real reason (although I'm always over-analyzing this sort of thing, so I may be wrong about that).

Anyway, I've warbled enough. Am I being to clingy and needy to want to meet up more than twice a week, or am I justified in wanting to see her more often? Maybe she has another reason and she's only saying that I need to give her space as a deflection of something else she feels (no, I don't think for even a second she's cheating)?

You are too clingy. You see each other often enough. 19
You're not too clingy. You're justified in wanting to see her more. 188
Other. 16
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Comments ( 8 )
  • dappled
    11 years ago

    I was hoping somebody else was going to answer this but they haven't so I guess I'll do it. I'm not sure how to say this in a way that's going to leave you anything but depressed.

    I think your relationship is drifting away. I also think the more you ask for answers from her or push for commitments, the further away you'll push her.

    I've been in your position. There were things I was confused about but I thought we were doing okay. Then suddenly, out of the blue, I'm out of the picture.

    Women often (but not always) hang on in relationships they're not entirely happy with until a better option comes along. I think that's where she is.

    I don't want to advise you what to do because if I advise wrongly, I'm going to mess up your life (and I don't want that responsibility).

    Anything I've said here is only what I *think* is going on from personal experience and from what you said. Don't take it as gospel, but you can take it as heartfelt.

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    • Sog
      11 years ago

      You're putting this more dramatically than it needs to be.

      She's not into you. Twice a week, once every 9 days is nothing and barely even worth investing time in. Dump her.

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  • 1000yrVampireKing
    11 years ago

    That is not clingy. That is like saying you want to see her at all is clingy. If wanting to say hello to her clingy? That is not really that often and I figured most couples either saw each other all week or lived together. I do not see how wanting to see her over 2 days is abnormal. Now if you will not even let her eat lunch since you want to "Make out" I could see why that would be frustrating and that is rather clingy/suffocating.

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  • forever_anon
    11 years ago

    That doesn't sound clingy at all. It's normal to want to spend more time together as a relationship progresses. I am sorry to say that I agree with the others. It sounds like she is either too busy or not as emotionally invested in the relationship as you are. You deserve to be with someone who will appreciate the attention you want to give.

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  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago

    Maybe she just has a busier life than you? I don't know your girlfriend personally, and it does seem strange she doesn't want to hang out with you more often, butif she has a busy stressful life, then you asking to spend more time with her could be a pain. Sorr of like, she feels like your asking for time she doesn't have. If your girlfriend doesn't work fulltim/alot, and doesn't hang out with her friends a bunch, then I have no idea.

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  • Captain_Kegstand
    11 years ago

    Sorry to hear this dude, but i'm going to have to agree with dappled, I have been there. Sounds like you guys are drifting apart and she might be losing interest.

    It sucks, but there are a shit load more fish in the sea!

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  • GreenSkyBlueGrass
    11 years ago

    She either hiding something from you, or shes losing feelings for you and is considering ending the relationship, the last option i would have said was she's cheating on you but if you feel that its not a option i'll just take your word for it. honestly i feel like you can do better and be with a girl that does want to be with you more often. so ending the relationship maybe better for you in the long run. You don't want to waste a year/years with a girl that doesn't really care for you, the way you care for her.

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  • Cuntsiclestick
    11 years ago

    Wanting to meet every two days is not clingy at all. She seems like she has no interest in you. Shes taking you for granted and it may not get any better. Dump her.

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