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My boyfriend likes to joke about beating the crap out of me all the time. He's not a violent man but a few of my friends are worried that it will eventually progress into actual violence. I highly doubt it, but I figured I'd put it here just in case.
Is it okay to joke about beating your girlfriend?
That just makes me angry cos my dad beat my mother, so I find that kind of humor offensive.
Confront him. Tell him you would prefer you not say those things. Ask him if he means if. If he has thought about beating you up.
If he says yes, quietly leave. Call for help and buy mace.
Yah it's ok (as long as it really is just a joke and not a threat) My bf does the same. Actually its been going on since we began dating.. he started likeing me as more then friends when he stole my candies and i told him i hope he'd chocke and die... and i'd always say see you tomorow, that is unless you get hit by a bus (with my fingers crossed) it depends on the relationship. if it bothers u or scares u tell him to stop.
Not really a point of laughter. I think he just likes feeling in control and as long as you go alog with it then he will disrespect you in other things later on.
I would say as long as you don't feel threatened I wouldn't worry too much about it, unless he does start to escalate his behavior. Just watch out for signs he could be violent because your friends could be seeing things that you don't.
secretly learn a strong art of self defence, then should he ever try it you can really surprise him
this is not enough information to go on. He could be a normal guy who's just joking around and your friends may be acting too melodramatic about it. Or he could be a ticking time bomb. In the end you will have to decide for yourself. Making calls like this and deciding for youself what you are comfortable with is a dificult part of life. If things start to get ugly, dont be affraid to walk. The vast majority of abuse revolves around power and control (does he have control issues?) If you start to feel affraid that you can't get away from him you should take steps to get away from him before the fear takes hold and you become trapped. In the mean time, try joking about beating the crap out of him. If he's ok about it going both ways you may not have anything to wory about.
If they're funny and obviously meant lightly then I can't see a problem. Mind you, I've never heard a funny woman beating joke.
My friends and I always like to crack horribly sexist jokes around eachother, many of which include jokes about beating women. There, I said it. None of us would ever strike a woman, though. I mean, NEVER. They're just jokes, that's all. It's kind of a guy thing to crack jokes like that anyway, lol. Your bf making sexist jokes is probably a good thing because maybe he feels comfortable enough around you to say stuff like that. That's just a theory, though. Then again, if his jokes are in such excess that it raises concerns for you, then yes bring it up with him and take it from there.
Jokes like that tend to offend many women. However, it's still just a harmless joke, which your friends need to realize. It's good that they care and watch out for you, but if you share your boyfriend's sense of humor, let your friends know this and maybe it will ease their concerns. But if you find it hurts your feelings or makes you uncomfortable, just tell him. Or retaliate with jokes of beating him right back. :p
Besides, it can't be any worse than the numerous "dead baby" jokes I've heard. x_X ...Can it?
Oh please, it's no big deal. As long as he is definitely kidding, it's just a joke. My boyfriend says he's going to leave me in a ditch in South Jersey all the time and we have an incredibly loving relationship and he would never dream of hurting me. I'm just a pain in the ass sometimes :)
Lighten the fark up, commenters. It was funny to audiences in 1955 when Ralph from The Honeymooners made the same kinds of jokes. Ralph obviously isn't serious about beating his wife in that show because it's just a show--it isn't serious. If your boyfriend isn't either, then likewise you have no problem. If you don't find it funny or it makes you uncomfortable, just tell him. If you sympathy laugh every time he makes those jokes, he's never going to get the idea that you don't care for it. He's going to assume you think it's funny too...you know...since you're not making it clear that you don't find it funny.
That much being said, don't be a jerk about it. If he's a good guy like you say, there's no reason to fight over a little off-white humor or end the relationship outright like these Internet psychologists above me think. Geeze.
I am a male. I think this is not good. For all of those other guys on here who say they like to joke with other guys about beating up women, you are all disgusting. It is NEVER okay to joke about beating one's S/O. It is an insult to every woman or child who has ever been victimized by domestic violence.
This is one of those red lights that is flashing in your head and you should pay attention to. Think it, say it, Do it. It is coming. Address it now. Tell him you see no humor in it.
ok me and boyfriend say stuff joking around ALL THE TIME calling each others bitches, saying I'm gonna kill you, slap you hurt you w/e... i mean it sounds bad to type but think about how often you "threaten" someone. Me and him are COMPLETELY kidding. But there is a difference b/w kidding and not. Just be careful though... If he shows any sign of violence, leave. I still have marks on me from my ex. and that was 4 years ago
i would say this guy is an idiot,
i wouldn't find that funny at all.
to be onest i would get rid of him... it's nothing to joke about and certainly no laughing matter.
Your bf has a really warped sense of humour :S I don't see how that could be funny. If it bothers you, tell him. Chances are, if he's a nice guy, he wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable.
Wow what a bunch of pussies.
Saying things like "I'll fuck yo ass up" jokingly isn't really a big deal. Me and my best friends do it. Me and my more memorable boyfriends did it. We have said some pretty disgusting, inflammatory, and reckless things to each other, all for a laugh.
Intimidation is a different story. Abusive people don't make empty threats.
It's ok if it's like yo babe! I'm gonna kick ur ass! Then it's alrite =)
I beat my girlfriend all the time. Just kidding, tell him not to joke around about that sort of Sh*t. Next time around, tell him that if he beats you, you will cut off his balls in his sleep.
I mean if you can't joke around with your boyfriend or husband....who can you joke around with? You guys have never said, "I'm gonna kill you" or "I oughtta knock you out" to your significant other purely in jest? My boyfriend and I call each other names all the time, totally as a joke. It's fun, we go back and forth. We both know we love each other madly and don't mean anything we're saying.
I know some people think it's disrespectful to actual victims of domestic violence, but everything is possibly offensive to someone. I'm not saying we shouldn't censor ourselves out of common decency but you're in your own home, you're joking around, you know actual domestic violence is wrong, it's no problem.
Ah come on. In that Curb You Enthusiam episode where Larry is pretending to smack Cheryl around it is pretty funny.
I know that's not real life, but what guy has not ever deliberately embarrassed his girlfriend in public just for the laugh? I know pretend violence is probably a bit harsh for some, and maybe so is pretending to be mentally handicapped. But she laughed and that was all that mattered
Some people just have weird senses of humour, it doesn't mean he actually wants to. If anything its a sign that he would never dream of it - the absurdity of it appeals to him and thats why he thinks it's funny. He wouldn't joke about it unless he genuinely found it funny.
i sure he just isnt talking about beating his monkey? cause thats a whole different matter.
seek assistance from friends, befriend people he can't intimidate and notify a counselor to see if there might be any merit to this, it sounds like something you should not take any chance on
HOW does he say it?
When he sayd it in a sarcastic way while patting any part of your body, feel insulted.
Otherwise that, and you don't feel uncomfortable at all, then who cares anymore and just act yourself
I'd have to say violence against anyone -- man, woman or child is really not funny at all. I know a lot of people would think so but they've got a lot of maturing to do.
I do that to my girlfriend all the time, but I would never hurt her and she knows it.
i think its normal if your bf says that, actually many guys say that and my bf is one of them, its okay but as long as it stays a joke
My ex used to be the same. He didn't actualy do anything and he never lay a finger on me, but he did get violent but in a minor form, like he would 'jokeily' throw me on the bed if he wanted to have sex and I said no.
I found someone who doesnt threaten me at all whether or not it's a joke. Just be careful and don't let him bully you.
my boyfriedn is the same, is it like thaqt with his mates aswell?? if so then i would not worry however if it makes you feel un easy, tell him! let him know how you feel, if he loves you he should understand or at least try to, To be honest babe i think its just a man thing xx