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Ok so i talk to this person who is literally so boring
She gives me one word answers and her conversations lead to nowhere but she gets upset when i don't message her back so i just ignore her?? I'm not sure what to do
| Just ignore her | 21 | |
| Tell her how i feel | 21 | |
| Grin and bare the awkward conversations | 3 |
Wow, she's LITERALLY boring?! It's bad enough when people are figuratively boring.
Hangout with her dude. Messages and phone calls are impersonal, she's probably shy. I'm awkward on phone calls too, when in doubt, I start talking about my shoes or pizza toppings. Somewhere in that conversation I mix the two, banana pepper and cheese tennis shoes?
I say tell her how you feel. Awkward doesn't mean boring, just different. She may not be like the other girls you talk to but maybe that's something to appreciate and explore? She's giving you 10% personality, take some time to get to know her and you'll be amazed.
Except OP said she was boring, not 'awkward' or 'different'.
"Take some time to get to know her and you'll be amazed."
Or it'll just confirm how utterly boring she is, and how much of a waste of time trying to get to know her (blood out of a stone) was. And it'll probably lead her on if she's romantically interested in OP.
It's good being an optimist and all, but just because somebody is useless in conversation and incredibly dull doesn't mean they must be shy and secretly awesome.
I agree with the 'tell her how you feel' bit, though :)
I was referring to the poll choices, "grin and bare the awkward convos."
Really it's just how you look at it, I think it's better to be optimistic and to see the good in people before making negative assumptions on their character.
Yeah but based on the story, the person is "literally so boring" and the conversations are awkward because of one word answers and they don't go anywhere. They're the worst kind of conversations. Why would it make you think they should meet up and talk in person based on that?
Yes it's optimistic to see the good in people before making negative assumptions, but it's also not realistic to assume that, whilst they're boring and socially retarded online / over the phone, they're a cool and interesting person 1st hand.
Don't you know any people who you find boring, who even making small-talk with is depressingly awkward?
People are different in person or maybe not. I'm "socially retarded" so, I guess what your saying is no one should take a chance to get to know me. I'm not a boring person once you get to know me but whose got the time to relate to another human being on a personal level.
I understand why most people just don't feel like putting in the work to actually get to know a person, but I know those who didn't missed out.
Yes, but you're projecting. You're assuming this girl is exactly like you, that she's just shy and awkward but deep down an interesting person worth effort and time to discover. This is a pretty big assumption considering we know nothing about OP or her - only that OP finds her incredibly boring but doesn't know how to convince her to stop contacting him/her.
I wonder if people would be reacting differently if the boring person wasn't female and they weren't assuming OP is male..
I have a feeling we're over-thinking this anyway :)
^This....the quiet ones are usually the best...if you know what I mean. Try hanging out with this girl in person to see where it leads. If she just won't open up in either way..move on.
I love how some people presume this girl must be deserving of your full attention based on nothing.
Someone says an incredibly boring girl keeps messaging them, and people think it must be because she's shy and different which makes her special and wonderful and you just need to get to know her in a personal setting and she might show you how interesting and cool she really is!!!1
People romanticise far too much, sometimes.
If she bores you to death, but it seems like she has some emotional attachment to you, you could:
1) tell her that you don't feel your friendship is going anywhere, though she seems like a perfectly nice person, so you don't want to talk with her anymore. Word it more sensitively than that, but afterwards don't respond ever again.
2) give her one word answers back until either she changes her bad conversational habits or stops bothering to message you.
I used to have a penpal / efriend, and she'd always send me messages and expect answers promptly. But she'd just talk about herself, endlessly. She was so self-absorbed that it was like reading a really dull diary entry every time and feeling like I was about as engaged in the conversation as the table her laptop sits on. Or like I was a substitute Word document on which to input characters. So in the end I told her that I didn't see the point in continuing this friendship anymore. It was a little awkward but if the friendship isn't valuable enough to put up with all the boring, pointless interactions you have with that friend, and you feel like you're being dishonest by feigning interest in their lives, it's silly not to be upfront about how you feel.
Maybe she's shy or doesn't want to appear boring, occasionally when I'm messaging someone I'll get a nagging feeling that I'm boring them so I don't write as much as I planned to