Is this resentment for my mother justified?

I mean resentment that goes beyond puberty.

I seriously resent my mom. I only use the word resent and not hate because I'm way too nice and self conscious. I might hate her but just not be able to admit it.

I hate being around her. When I'm around any other person my voice is lifted, I'm more expressive, kind, and volunteer to do things. All of that changes when I'm with my mom. She's always asking me for money, when I come to see her like once every 4 weeks it's always stress. She does normal things any parent should do like cook dinner for me, maybe a dessert if she feels like it and then guilt trips me into doing the dishes. As in, if I make a face about it she'll go 'you are the single laziest, hardest person I have ever had to deal with in my whole life.' and no, that is not an exaggeration. Yes, I know that's a childish example. But that's only the tip of the iceberg.

My senior high school year (last school year), I spent the first semester in shelters literally across 3 cities of my state, taking bus rides back and forth to school that would go from 30 minutes to 3 hours (one ride was like 4 hours I kid you not), and the second semester I spent staying with this 'friend' of mine. It was okay there but his dog would always piss on my bed almost every day, and my clothes if I left them out. It got to the point where I had to flip over my mattress every day before I left for school. It hurt so bad, seeing everybody at school not being grateful for the things they had. Cars during their senior year, drivers licenses, going on dates with girls, plenty of clothes to wear... homes to feel comfortable in... and here I was. Balancing a job, school and stress. I had some friends I talked to at school, I wasn't some emo punk that wore my heart on my sleeve, but nobody could understand what I was going through.

This recent whole summer I spent it working overnight stocking. This is the summer I graduated high school. It was awful. My mom is so lazy, she would only drive me to my job at night but wouldn't come pick me up in the mornings at 7 o clock. I would have to ride my bike back home, and that's a 30-35 minute ride after a 12 hour work shift. I tried to tell her 'thats the least I can ask for mom. I'm the only one working and pitching in the house around here. This could be my job and transportation could be your job.' and she would respond (in a nutshell) 'No. I don't feel like waking up that early. You got a bike, ride your bike. Nobody forced you to get this job.' All the while KNOWING this was the job I could get the most hours and the highest pay with. And she was complaining about not wanting to get up, completely disregarding my feelings of having to work literally all night. And between the days when I got back and was sleeping there would still be time for arguing... over the smallest things. It was bickering. She wouldn't even drive me to get my haircut which was just around the corner from where we live. I would either have to walk there or ride my bike. I didn't even have a bike lock.

I couldn't work at that job much longer. I wasn't good at what they had me doing and hated everybody I was working with. I quit that job to find somewhere else to work which meant leaving the house to live with someone else, since there wasn't much opportunity where we were at. My mom guilt tripped me about 'leaving her behind to deal with everything on her own' as well. In my mind I wanted to tell her to shut the fuck up because she brought everything on herself, and how are you going to try to make me feel guilty for wanting better for myself...? Is that something a mother should do? Shouldn't they try setting an example by being strong and dealing with the bed they made?

All the while I was trying to join the Air Force. Oh my god that was a struggle. Fortunately my mom drove me back and forth between the recruiting office which was a good 30 minutes away, but she still had no type of faith in me. In the gaps of time that I had to get some paperwork to fill out and study for the asvab she was steady saying stuff like 'you're not ready for this. I can see your laziness all day and how slow you move. You're not ready for the Air Force.' and other things like 'All you do, ALL day is come home play that game get on your laptop and sleep! youre not studying for the asvab or anything!'... among other things. I just endured her comments and stayed quiet while studying during the night when she was sleep and in my room with the door closed, and meditated about stuff. Can't lie though, I did play my game a lot.

The reason I was in shelters for the entire first semester of high school was because she got caught by the police with a tiny ounce of marijuana. We had nothing then, and lost everything else. I went to stay with another family for a brief period and experienced a lifestyle I never had before. Both parents, a room bigger than 10x10 feet, a study area, big bed, dressers that werent broken... it was amazing. Then I had to go back with my mom and we spent the whole summer before my senior year moving from house to house almost daily staying with a different friend. It was so uncomfortable. Some days we would be in the car for hours at a time just waiting to see what would happen. I don't say this to be funny... but the struggle was more real than ever at that point. And all that because of a tiny pack of weed.

And now she's getting another job. She's still smoking weed. She can't stop, yet asks me for some money every now and then for gas. She needs me to take drug tests for her, which means driving nearly 40 minutes away to get my piss. I hate doing this fucking shit. It feels so wrong... and this isn't the first time.

I have so much negativity and resentment for her. I almost hate her. If I never talked to her again in my life I would be okay with that. Is this feeling justified?