Is this normal? what should i do?

Mr and my Bf has been together for 5 years but this May 1st, he becomes colder, he doesnt answer me on phone so I decided to visit him home but he told me he is not in a good mood and having a troubled mind so he doesnt want to talk about it, later after how many days we start communicating even though he is still cold, we are checking for each other and that is the time I asked him if I was the problem or he wants to separate from already but he said, No. I decided to slow and calm down and wait him to cool down as well for a days by not disturbing him with too much messages and calls. After how many days, I decided to call him and asked if we can fix it already and he answered me that he was having trouble with everything, gets fed up and tired of everything already,he even can't understand why is he feeling that and he also said that as well as to our relationship he was starting to get tired so we better end it already. I cried a lot of days, I even asked for some advice and they said I should break up him. But I still did what I want, I did visit him in suprise just so we can talk in person, I cried, But he said sorry to me, he tells me he doesn't even know why he is feeling like being fed up with everything, he feels lost, incompetent, useless and emphasized that he felt like to be on his own. I told him that its hard for me, and its tearing me down. After that he said sorry to me,that maybe long term relationships really go with this kind of challenges and said that he will make it up to me and work everything out but he can't promise me anything because he doesn't even understand himself. I asked him if he need space and he tells me maybe, he is not sure if that's what he want. Now, I love him.. But I dont know what to do? Please help me with some advices or thoughts. 😭😭😭😢

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Based on 9 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 24 )
  • FromTheSouthWeirdMan

    He's sounding like a girl. Why can't he just grow balls and tell you whether he wants to be with you or not? "He doesn't understand himself". He sounds like a pussy anyway. I hope y'all figure it out and stay together. Hopefully he grows some balls too.

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    • Ellenna

      No, he sounds like an indecisive and possibly manipulative HUMAN BEING, nothing to do with girliness or boyiness or testicles

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      • FromTheSouthWeirdMan

        Saying something like "I dont understand myself" sounds very weak, shows no character, and sounds very emotional. I don't think he's just manipulative i think he's a bitch too. 🤣

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      • or maybe a user

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      • So sad. 😣😥

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    • I actually felt pity for myself, cause I let someone did this to me but I'm fine and I know someday everything will be better.. And yes, hopefully he grows some balls and have some guts to use his head over his balls .

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    • I was thinking about that too? How is it really possible of feeling so not Sure? kinda crazy

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      • Why? cause maybe this is how the way he Thinks of me?

        Sample. He doesn't like the things anymore but its still useful so he is not sure if he will throw it away or not? 😂🤣

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  • RoseIsabella

    Leave him be. He's probably having some personal problems of a psychological nature at best. At worst he too much of a coward to tell you that he wants his freedom, needs a break up with you.

    Leave him, and spend time taking care of yourself. I know it's not easy, but at least he didn't wait 20 years to get all weird on you.

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    • Thank you for reading this even though its way too long.. I appreciate it.

      Well Maam, it hurts me a lot. 😭 Its hard to just let go. But you are right maybe thats the best thing to do.

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      • RoseIsabella

        I'm sorry you have to go through this, but unfortunately the only way out of it is through it, dear heart.

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        • Its my first time being so heart broken so it cause me a lot of pain, Never thought of this could be painful more than I've ever thought. Shocks. But, I do believe you, I hav3 to feel this so I can move on.

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          • RoseIsabella

            The first is the worst.

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            • I can see that you're really a good person for helping Maam.. Well you are true, first are painful but I do know this will make me a lot stronger like you

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  • Something is going on that he’s not being completely honest about. It might be that he has doubts about your relationship long term but enjoys the short term convenience. Maybe he’s not telling you because he’s not sure. Some of his comments are telltale signs that he isn’t interested long term. Do you want to be with a guy that doesn’t want to be with you long term?
    If you’re ok with that consider backing away. Share less info. No “hooking up” for a night. Most guys want want they can’t have. ...but understand that he’s not telling you something.
    Good luck.

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    • That is so true.. Sometimes I actually wish that I would caught him cheating or with some other girls so I could finally have that reason to just leave, cause Im actually clueless right now and Im very tired of fixing this fvck already. I know it'll hurt so bad if he left me but I know ill be fine soon and just be happy knowing someone is coming which is surely better than him. 😣😥

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      • Sorry. Good luck.

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  • brutus

    Maybe he is depressed and needs antidepressants?

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    • I was thinking of that too.. He is depressed and was so pressured from family problems, work and for his dreams maybe but instead of making me as an inspiration He was pushing me away, I want to help him but he wants me get rid.

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  • CountessDouche

    I read your other post & I'm sorry you're going through a tough break up. I remember how devastating my first few were.

    Unfortunately, it sounds like you guys are at a point in both of your lives where you are going through major life changes, and when this happens it's normal to sometimes grow apart. It sounds like your bf is on a tough journey to figure himself out & because of that, he finds the relationship stifling.

    It is really hard to let go. I know it's sad and heartbreaking & that you have doubts about finding anything better, but that's because you feel safe with him. You do deserve better though. You deserve someone who truly wants to be with you & does not see your relationship as a burden.

    You should take this chance to figure yourself out (like he is), get to know yourself, learn to ask for more. Your next relationship will be better for it.

    Telling people to leave & move on is easy to say, and it sounds like a platitude, but it will get easier. You will be a better person for it. Your next relationship will be better, and the hurt will go away with time.

    If you keep spending your time chasing someone who isn't ready to be with you, you might miss out on a person who is.

    Sorry you're so sad. I know it's hard

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    • id like to put reply on this comment.. I still read this countless times. Idk, Its just that your words help cover the pain. I'm still on the process, but its getting better though.. I'm takin my time. Still thanks btw

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      • CountessDouche

        I'm so sorry you're still hurting. It is incredibly difficult to go through a tough break up, but I do believe you will end up with someone who makes you happy & that us what you deserve. Looking back on bad relationships will help you learn about yourself & exactly what it us that you need in a partner, what you should expect & what you want from someone else. I know that the pain you are experiencing is the worst feeling in the world, but your future relationships will be better for it.

        I hope you're feeling ok. Try to treat yourself well while you're sad. Maybe take a nice bath with candles, cook yourself a really nice dinner & watch something you love on the TV. I hope you feel better!

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    • Thank you so much for taking time to read. It is such a big help. By now I am struggling, my heart is aching and I don't understand why.. but I pray that someday my heart heals like yours.. Thank you

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