Is this normal to feel and be this way?

Im a 27 year old hispanic male. I been wanting a girl for the longest time. She broke up with me on July 4 but two years ago or longer. I have been in need of sex for a while but Im afraid to go on those 1 nite stand sites. I want to but I cant. So I try dating site but nothing happens. I go for the girls I like but no one response or they just delete me. I have been getting desperate after a while. I started getting depressed and I wanted at least phone sex or something around that line. But not for someone random I get scared. I got real depressed one night and I was texting a girl that was my friends gf. I started flirting then it started getting serious. We then went to switchin nude pics and phone sex. I was so comfortable with her. It was fun. I felt happy and even more closer to her. I liked her before but that time was serious. WE both got to the point where are feelings did come out for each other. But she is loyal to him. I needed her and her attention and she loved it we kept going for a week then she wanted to stop because she felt bad. I understood and I left it be. We still see each other and nothing was never said and her bf never knew. But I still have feelings and I felt comfortable with her. Now we go on as nothing happened. Which hurts me. I lost confidence again and I cant do anything anymore. I look for attention because Im lonely bored and horny but I cant do a fling because Im scared. Its difficult to find a girl thats in my mind set. Or at least understands. Im horny lonely and bored but its difficult to get things going. Im so sad, depressed, lonely and bored. That I have a tough time getting off or achieving an orgasm anymore. Im so frustrated it sucks. Someone help please.