Is this normal or narcissistic behavior from a mother

Long story short...

My mother has always been very overbearing and very overprotective. I was not allowed to go out and do things that were normal for my age and, unless I snuck around, could only have the friends she essentially "chooses". She would yell often and very loudly.

Example:

Mom - go clean up the dog poop

Me - alright

Mom - when are you going to do it?? (starting to get loud)

Me - In a second I have to finish this

Mom - Do it NOW! (yelling at this point. I get mad and my voice raises as well but not nearly as much, trust me.) (also when she would say "now" it was very unsettling. Like... very threatening. With the look and tone that she will make me pay.)

Me - Alright! Calm down!

Mom - "GO PICK UP THE DOG SHIT!!!" (Literally screaming at the top of her lungs.)

Me - No. I'm not going to be treated like this.

Mom - "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE"

This situation was very common. I was threatened to be kicked out almost on a monthly basis.

This type of thing was normal, as I said, and a few additional angles she would use were...

"You're mentally ill" (I have had many friends and their parents say I'm not and do everything they can to help me. Now that I look back it was clear they were trying to help get out of that abusive house)

Illness she claims I've had at various times...

Antisocial personality
Bipolar
Schizophrenia
Dementia...wtf
Autism

There are more but and even today I question my sanity, but I digress..

I was often told how ungrateful I am and how lucky I am to have a home. If I ever expressed my feelings in a way she didn't agree with, or if I asked to be treated nicer she would tell me I make things up or some other way of blaming me for her actions.

She would boss me around with EVERYTHING. Literally, If I so much as started looking in the fridge for food, she would say "clean up after yourself."

If I said in as nice a way as I could (because It was constant bossing me around) "Can you ask me instead of telling me all the time?" She would yell "JUST TO IT." At that point, If I so much as said one word in my favor, I would be told "GET OUT." and it would become a huge fiasco of me getting kicked out. Usually when this would happen I would just stay in my room.

Btw - my room is permanently locked so I can't enter the house without permission.

As I said earlier, I had and still have a drug and alcohol problem. The closest I got to recovery was when I was in rehab a few states away from her. I had been there for a week when she called and said she's coming to get me. I said no.

The next day she landed in a plane to come to the rehab. She made a huge deal and cried to me that I'm breaking her heart. The rehab is a cult. She cried and cried and begged me to come back. I couldn't take seeing her cry so I caved.

This was another common pattern. She would say mean things about how ungrateful, lazy, immature, and so on until I actually got some independence (like when I got an apartment.) Then she would manipulate me into coming back.

A similar thing happened when I would my first car. I quit my job and she made me sign my car over to her or I would be homeless.

Did I mention that how I ended up at the rehab was a be homeless ultimatum as well? And then she did the whole crying thing. Very strange.

It's like... she's nice and affectionate to me for a while, but then when she get's bored or stressed she is really mean.

I have literally NEVER heard her apologize in my life.

One last thing. When my dad goes out of town (for business) she let's me in the house (usually I don't get to go in the house very much). But she lets me in and is all nice and fun. But she talks really badabout my dad. Like how she thinks he cheats, to how she thinks he's gay, to insinuating that he might have molested me and I just don't remember.

(Another common theme. She assumed everybody molested me. My grandpa and I used to go fishing all the time. He even took me to alaska once. I loved him very much. But then my mom decided he molested me and never let me see him again. Even though I said it wasn't true, she told me I just don't remember.)

But continuing about my dad. She would talk mad shit about him blah blah blah. Then when he got back in town. I was kicked back out like a filthy dog. She would go back to taking her stress and anger out on me and such.

Now I'm 23 years old. I don't have a car so I ride my bike when I have a job (usually a ten mile trip each way, often it rains.) But then I quit because it seems so futile. I've moved so much (11 times) that I don't know anybody. I have no motivating factor like... "I can work hard and be independent. I will have friends and love." But the only person I'm comfortable around is my mom. Weird I know.

She is all I have, yet she is also the cause of a lot of pain.

So, I'm 23 years old, have no car, live in a room on my parents property. I'm sitting in my room, it makes me feel so shitty. Sometimes I get hungry and I want food or water really bad. Or even just to see one of the dogs because I get kinda lonely. But I'm always locked out. I hate it. It makes me feel so shitty. Like I'm subhuman.

It feels good to get that off my chest. I'm just starting to realize how manipulated I've been for so long. It feels like I've been my mom's toy. Like I'm there to make her feel better and lucky to have her ever want to receive my attention.

But anyways... does this sound like narcissism? I read a bit about it and it seems like there is something to it. I also have a hard time being able to tell because I'm never sure if I'm a little bit crazy or mentally handicapped in someway that I'm not understanding properly.