Is this normal behavior at a group lunch?

I need help settling this.

A group of 5 of us is having lunch. Everything is completely normal until one person abruptly gets up and says "I'm leaving" (that's all she said) and quickly walked away and went outside.

The rest of us were left wondering why she left, if she was mad, if we were taking too long (we hadn't been there long though and no one else was finished eating) so we hurried to finish our lunch and went out to meet her and see what the problem was. She said there was no problem, that she just wanted to leave.

We were pretty stunned still because this seemed so weird and we were also a bit mad at her because we rushed to finish our lunch, it ruined the mood and it turned the whole outing sour. We mentioned this and asked her why she didn't excuse herself properly so we didn't feel as if we had done something wrong or had to rush our lunch. She said she didn't owe anybody an explanation, she just wanted to leave so she left and that's that. She got mad at us for thinking we deserved an explanation or that she should've excused herself more properly!

Now we're in an argument because we all found her behavior rude, offensive and we felt it ruined the day. She defends her actions. We say it was in very bad manners, she thinks she did nothing wrong.

What do you think? Please comment.

Also, this woman is 56 years old! We were all riding together in her car too, so that made us feel like we had to rush even more.

What she did was acceptable. 26
What she did was rude. 53
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Comments ( 26 )
  • GuessWho

    Her actions give the impression, that for some reason she got upset and didn't want to be around the rest of you.
    And yes, her actions were rude.

    If she wasn't upset, the polite thing to do would be to stay and wait for everyone to finish eating.
    If she really just wanted to walk out, she should have excused herself politely. e.g. "Please excuse me: I'm going outside."

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  • howaminotmyself

    Maybe she needed to poop.

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    • She didn't go to the restroom. She went straight outside. Either way, shouldn't someone excuse themself properly when they leave the group? At least say something more than "I'm leaving"! Would you excuse yourself if you were leaving the group before everyone else was done?

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      • gummy_jr

        Maybe she poops outside like a bear?

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  • noid

    I think each and every person in the scenario is overreacting. You all just need to let it go and move on.

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  • anti-hero

    I just don't care.

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    • KaffeInjection

      Wow.. You must be wicked-Underground!

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      • anti-hero

        Wow, you must not know that I don't care about you.

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        • KaffeInjection

          Shut up Mimsy.

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          • Stifler

            Don't get on his bad side. He'll kick your ass.

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            • Just out of curiosity, how come you guys bother with C.C. so much? What is it about him that makes him so attractive to you?

              I've [vaguely] noticed that there are a few young men who follow him around the site making weird comments in an attempt to get his attention, but I don't understand why it happens. Do you know why?

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  • squeallikeasacofpigs

    Sounds like a cunt. Also, this is some pathetic High School melodrama bullshit, what the fuck is a grown as woman doing acting like a teenage bitch!?

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  • ProseAthlete

    I'd bet money that she has a panic disorder she's ashamed to admit to having. As someone who has dealt with panic attacks for a couple of decades, I can understand that "I need to get out of here Right. Now!" impulse that undoubtedly feels utterly crazy to anyone witnessing it without an understanding of the compulsion that motivated it.

    If she were open about what was going on in her head (assuming she has a panic disorder), she was probably worried that she was going to be ill, have a heart attack, or suffer some other fate that feels overwhelming and catastrophic at the time. It's an unreasonable disorder; you can't just jolly yourself out of a panic attack, and although you can minimize them, making them disappear isn't always possible. Some people find the condition humiliating and frightening in the extreme and never seek help for it, which is a shame.

    Yes, she should have explained. As embarrassing as it is to admit that I still have panic attacks that occasionally bring on some weird actions, I feel I owe it to others to say, "I'm sorry, I have anxiety attacks sometimes, and I'm going to grab some fresh air." I'd rather deal with a little personal indignity than make others feel as though they had done something wrong.

    In your friend's case, being repeatedly asked about what happened and why she left may not be a question she could answer if she's still dealing with the shame of being what some people consider "crazy" (it isn't crazy, but it can feel like it is to people suffering with panic disorders). She probably became indignant to hide that shame. Does she stay home a lot or prefer to go to familiar places? Does she prefer to drive? Does she make frequent trips to the bathroom? Those aren't proof of a panic disorder, but they're often signs of one. Familiarity and a sense of control are common ways people deal with panic.

    Another possibility is that she really needed to fart, which invokes shame of a different sort.

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  • IDiGAFi

    TL DR.

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  • Jeaneathean

    I read this when it was first posted, and have been thinking about it ever since.

    Have you ever been in a situation you don't want to be in, and just fantasised about simply getting up and leaving? Like a crap party for example? I have. Maybe she was not really enjoying herself, and took that thought to next logical step.

    Rude? Maybe/possibly/probably. Part of me applauds her honesty.

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  • Stifler

    She was on her period?

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    • Stifler

      Sorry bout this. I guess I thought i could make a few laughs.

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  • RomeoDeMontague

    I never heard of a group lunch before.

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  • RoseIsabella

    It sounds to me like someone or something upset her at the lunch but she was too embarrassed to explain about it.

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    • robbieforgotpw

      She got gassy and had to take a fart walk

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  • Shroot

    You guys had a better lunch than her i reckon.

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  • Avant-Garde

    There's a possibility that she saw someone that she either doesn't like or has an awkward relationship with.

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