Is this normal behavior?

79% Normal
6 Comments

Lets say I love this person and we've been "together" for a long time. We're in our mid to early twenties, both at different points, one has their life figured out and the other is finding out what they want. Both wanting the same thing eventually, a family, home, and life partner. Similar beliefs and sense humor, many common interests and enjoy spending time together.

However it's been a very off and on relationship, one partner loses contact with the other on a seemingly regular basis, it's become a pattern of behavior. For obvious reasons this hurts the other person but they seem to put up with it. The person creating the problem, is very hesitant to commit, but often times seems completely content and happy with the other person and will share their feelings but then only days later shut them out.

Should the person that is being mistreated leave in order to stop this behavior? Sorry I know it's confusing.

Voting Results
79% Normal
Based on 14 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • TexasRED
    8 years ago

    They definitely shouldn't leave.
    "Variety is the spice of life!" that saying is absolutely true because it is human nature to always want something new. All life is designed to grow and change its evolution. If that person always comes back eventually then they obviously want to be with the other person, they just get bored once in a while. So to make things simple, if one person enjoys being with another person, they should find new ways to spend time together and keep the relationship growing.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Lets say I'm the person hurt by this persons actions and I've tried but it's discouraging when the other person acts like a child and won't communicate. I've warned them of this as well, I've put up with it but I'm also not a door mat.

      We always do come back to each other but I'm tired of being left. If they really want a future with me then I wouldn't be the only one trying. But they say things like "I've stayed this long for you" and that they care but I don't see it in their actions. Leaving and coming back out of boredom or because you miss the person isn't worth staying for, so why should I stay?

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    Obviously you are not happy the way things are and you can't see it changing. So the question is will you settle for things the way they are or do you want a relationship that will suit your better? Life is way too short for less than all of what you want.
    No one can tell you what you should do, though it actually sounds like you've already made a decision, but are still hesitant to move forward.

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  • Dread-pool
    8 years ago

    this is too vague.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      How? We start getting close and things are good for a few months and they say and do things that would suggest they want to be with me but we reach a point where things are serious and then they ignore and disappear for a few months and give me no reason. I spend those months upset and confused, unsure of what I did wrong or why they keep doing this.

      I obviously can't talk to them right now and ask them because they're ignoring me and when I do see them again they'll pretend nothing happened and like they didn't ignore me or hurt me for the last couple months.

      I'm assuming it's fear of commitment considering it's happened so many times but they also had no issue cheating on me and dating someone else during one of the periods they were ignoring and disregarding my feelings and lying for months to me so maybe it's just me that they're afraid of commiting to.

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      • 12sdratereathi
        8 years ago

        leave without communication there is no relationship.
        commitment needs to be on both parts find someone worth your love and time.

        if they are disregarding your feelings I recommend leaving them. if they really want to be with you then they would be if they break up with you when seeing other people that is not cheating.
        if you two where dating then get it is not just you they seem to be afraid of commitment.

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