Is this love or not

59% Normal
9 Comments

I have been with this guy for 2 years 8 months. We are both 21. Anyway, everything was going well,yet after a small fight my boyfriend told me that he was no longer in love with me. He said that i was the girl of his dreams, the one he knew he wanted to spend his life with so he was not sure why he was feeling like he no longer loved me, whats funny is that during the fight he told me he loved me but in five minutes, and I literally mean five minutes he said he didn't. For four days he insisted that he did not love me( he said he could not love anybody in that way) but he continued walking me to my lectures, and after my first lecture he would be waiting with coffee. He carried my bag and even though i told him that he did not have to travel by train with me anymore, he said that he wanted to because he wanted me to be safe. On the fifth day, he said that he was in love with me, and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me an he asked me to go to therapy with him.He said he was confused at the time and he cried, asking me not to hate him.he also said it was because I made him feel disposable. At therapy he said that he thinks it's all the sadness and anger he had toward his family which made him say what he said to me but he loves me and wants us to be together again. His family has treated him badly and this relationship did not help matters. A month has passed and he claims that he still loves me and is sorry but I want to know if this is really love or if he is lying to me? And if it is, then what do you think really happened to make him say he doesn't love me

Voting Results
59% Normal
Based on 39 votes (23 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Geneva5
    11 years ago

    Story is so boring I want to self harm - you and your partner are fucking boring - chase up some crack habits and win !

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  • ncraig915
    13 years ago

    Oh honey, I don't know you, but I feel like I'm going through a similar situation. I'm 23 (bf is 22) and he and I are on a "break" right now, because he needs time to grow up. We've both agreed that we're spending the rest of our lives together.

    I think the way he treated you was really crappy at first, but he took you to therapy with him, lol, that's a lot more than other guys would do. You are a lucky lady. You guys have your problems (who doesn't) but if you're both willing you'll definetly make it.

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  • blndgrl18
    13 years ago

    He loves you, his actions say so. He may have just been really upset during and after the fight, and may not be great with managing anger and emotion.

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  • sakura
    14 years ago

    a follow up to my situation an i'm really hoping for constructive comments. this week we did our "space' thing, it was suppose to last until after the exams so that we write the exams clear minded, but, the thing is today he told me again that he did not feel the same yet the whole week he told me that he hoped that after everything we would end up together and be happy. i dont know how his head works anymore. after the 4 days he said he does not love me he spend over a month telling me that he does to yet another one last minute desicion that he infact does not. ont get me wrong he says that he does love me but is not in love and i have explained that there is a difference but he does not agree.

    should i just give up on him, I mean he has not even given therapy a chance. he sai that he wanted to work through his anger but he has not, not really, should i just forget this guy or be understanding that he may be going through something.

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  • sakura
    14 years ago

    supra661
    you're right there was a time i uestioned whether or not i was in love with him, there was this guy and i had the whole butterfly thing but i knew that my boyfriend was the one for me and that "butterflies" was a surface thing and would soon disappear again, stating the cycle all over again.

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  • sakura
    14 years ago

    wow, thank all of you for commenting, sometimes an outsiders perspective really helps. uestion though, how many of you are girls and how many are guys?

    supra661. the thing you said about love, I completely agree with it. and to be honest I told him that and eventually he saw it that way too. And I se us being together but right now i want to give space so that he can work through why he has been so angry.
    Im just so happy that you describe love in that way because nobody else gets it. I've conducted a survey at my university and everybody's views of love is what they see on tv or the movies and its so immature and unrealistic. Are you a guy or girl, please say guy because it would be great if a guy gave me such a great response because usually its the girls who think "everything will be ok" and i need for a guy to think so too.

    Thank all of you once again.

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  • fernzie_94
    14 years ago

    give him another chance i reckon, their must of been love if yous waz together for 2 years haha

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  • babylove20
    14 years ago

    I think at one point yes he was confused.and since he made the effort goin to therapy its a huge step!just know that.it means he really wants to work things out with you and because he really does love you.take him back and see how it goes.

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  • Jessicashleigh
    14 years ago

    He loves you for sure.

    He was simply, like he said, going through a rough time. His mind got all mixed up and he became confused with why he was upset.

    Why else would he still do all that stuff? It's because he cares and loves you with all his heart. Trust me.

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