Is this love

21 Comments

Sorry this is really long and I hope I don't come off as a bitch cause some people on this site seem to think I'm mad when I'm not

I feel a bit silly asking this and the only reason I do is maybe for the hope that someone won't shoot me down.

I have never felt attracted to real people before and I've been an adult for awhile now (early 20s). I met this guy online (yeah yeah I would suggest you leave now if you don't believe in this, the future of relationships!)

I think about him all the time. I dream about him. I imagine being with him and I know we will meet someday. I love to make him happy. His happiness = my happiness.

The bad (according to others): he's done hard drugs, had severe depression, attempted siucide, been to juvenile corrections, been in fights, etc.

Now don't say "ooh a girl in to bad boys how typical". It's not that. I wish he never did any bad stuff so that people would stop telling me I shouldn't be with him. It tears me to bits that people say "wow bad past don't give him a chance people rarely ever change! I don't care about his personality All drug users are the same!" And judge without even knowing him. He is not bad at all when he is with me.

I on the other hand am a full time college student with a 3.7 GPA, never had a bf, never done not even weed, drink but never been drunk, etc. basically a "good girl". But I hate it. I only do anything to impress my parents. Otherwise I have no ambitions in this life, nothing makes me happy, other than this guy. He makes me have feelings when everything else without him is so dull that I walk around in a daze half the time, and sleep the rest of the time. He gives me purpose in life.

When it's just me and him nothing else matters. It feels right. It's only when I explain him to others that they make me question it. It makes me cry to think that important people in life (ie. My parents) won't accept us being together.

I would bet that it's worth a shot	2
I would bet that you will get hurt in the end so don't bother	2
You're just dumb	1
need more info (personality etc.)	2
Aww young love (it's nice but won't last)	0
That's super fucked up, fuck you bitch!	0
Who gives a shit what others think just listen to your heart	6

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Comments ( 21 )

KeepsakeDoll

9 years ago

The past is the past.
Just hope he doesn't do that stuff now.

Only time will tell if something is love.
At the moment, I think it's just a crush.

ADVICE:
Make sure you don't fool yourself into feeling a certain way.
Not saying this because of his past or anything.

It's just a common mistake people make when they want to be loved by someone who doesn't treat them as well as they should.
Best of luck~

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Pika-girl

9 years ago

You should give it a shot!

I mean, it seems like this guy had had a harsh past, right? So.. Why don't you jump in and brighten up his world with love and happiness?

The thing is, you haven't met in real life. Who knows whether you should trust him or not. Maybe he's... different in reality? I may be wrong, though. You should probably get to know the guy a bit more.

But the real question is: Does he have those same exact feelings for you, too?

Anyway, I say:
Try it out! There's a chance you'll hit it off and become lovers! Well, I wish you good luck on your romantic journey!

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Fall_leaves

9 years ago

Go for it. They'll accept it but it might take time. Initially it's probably going to be a shock and they'll tell you, you deserve better. After awhile though they'll come around and see all those good things you see in him too.

Everyone makes mistakes, they shouldn't have to be defined by them. People are able to change just believe in him and your family will too.

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[Old Memory]

9 years ago

His past is irrelevant to this topic.
To answer your question, no, you are not in love.
You have an obsession with him. It sounds like you have not even met him in person.
Romantic love requires several in person encounters with each other.
It is good you realize you cannot change him, because nobody can change anybody but themselves. If you decide to get with him you should accept him for who he is and not who you want him to be.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Hmm so it's not love until it's physical? Or..?
  
  And what do you mean by who I want him to be? To me he is perfect how he is
  
  Again not trying to sound like a smartass or anything, I honestly don't seem to know anything about love but I want to meet him so badly and hold him and kiss him which is something I never felt for a real person!! But my mom says I shouldn't and it's terrible!:(
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    9 years ago
    
    I say that because you cannot truly know somebody without meeting them. In person you get to see their behaviors and personality in a way you cannot experience through what they say over text. You meet people they know and get a good idea of their character. You cannot do that over the internet.
    
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thegypsysailor

9 years ago

I take it you've never actually met this guy?
If that is so, then you have a crush; you are most likely NOT truly in love.
Opposites attract, so the good girl would find a bad boy attractive, but that does not make you two compatible.
If you are a smart girl, I would suggest you do not pursue this relationship, as he will most likely drag you down to his level, you will not be able to change him. You cannot 'fix' him.
But of course, free advice is worth exactly what you paid for it.
Good luck.

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- kspell
  
  9 years ago
  
  Just because someone has struggled earlier in life ,that doesn't mean they will never change. People can change, so don't say someone else can't be the one to initiate that change, to start the chain reaction. I've seen crippled teenagers stand because someone helped them, why should some one with a crippled past not be able to do the same?
  
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  - thegypsysailor
    
    9 years ago
    
    Nobody can make anybody change or initiate change, except the person them self.
    History is a good guide, if not an absolute. These two haven't even met, so it's a bit premature painting a rosy picture, here. Do YOU trust everything you see and read on the internet?
    Do not fucking tell me what to say. You give YOUR opinion, and I'll give mine, OK? You may even criticize mine, but you have absolutely NO RIGHT AT ALL to say, "don't say someone else can't be the one to initiate that change", got it?
    
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    - kspell
      
      9 years ago
      
      Well you have no right to tell me what to do. I'm sorry if you thought that I meant these two were a match made in heaven, I meant that you shouldn't think less of someone because of their history, whether it be family or personal. That man deserves as much of a chance as anyone, and I honestly do not care what you think of me, so it doesn't do any good to swear at me,I've strengthened myself to the piont where words don't hurt.
      
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      - thegypsysailor
        
        9 years ago
        
        How about this then; go fuck yourself you two faced bitch?
        
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        kspell
        
        9 years ago
        
        Did you know that people like you more if you don't call them a bitch? Also, I don't think someone is as likely to take love advice from someone who automatically hates someone for saying something that they don't want to think about.
        
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  ((I didn't down vote you btw))
  
  this is basically what my mom says too :(
  
  I don't understand how you can generalize though... Don't you think there are exceptions?
  
  I think its just difficult for other people to understand what one person sees in another. It's so much easier from the outside to only see the bad circumstances, but do you think people should be permanently defined by those? And that true love has nothing to do with whether or not a person has a successful life or troubled one?
  
  I know I can't fix him but he is working on himself to be "good enough" for my family, he said he wanted to not be bad anymore but he never had a reason to before (due to depression, abusivd parents, negative environment etc. )
  
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  - thegypsysailor
    
    9 years ago
    
    Of course there are exceptions. People can and do change.
    But for you, at this point, it is a very bad bet. You have such a crush on this cat that I doubt that you can be objective, so you are putting the cart way before the horse.
    Cool down a bit and wait until you've met and spent some time together before you plan out a life together. He may very well become a good friend and even your lover, but there are many other, interesting and wonderful guys out there too.
    Just keep an open mind and go slowly.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      that sounds good, thank you sir!
      
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Anonymous200

9 years ago

Even if he has changed, this isn't the makings of a good relationship. You seem like you're just using him for excitement, and that won't end well. Don't do this.

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chained_rage

9 years ago

Baby don't hurt me

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- iEatZombies_
  
  9 years ago
  
  *Head bob*
  I don't know why you're not there
  I give you my love but you don't care
  *puts heart and soul into very bad dance*
  
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  - chained_rage
    
    9 years ago
    
    They should clone you. There should be more of you on this planet.
    
    *dances with you in a manner that resembles the basketball scene in Scary Movie 2*
    
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Is this love