Is this family fragile?

59% Normal
6 Comments

It's about me and my family. I am a female aged 27. I don't feel comfortable to talk to anyone since i am old enough to deal my problems. But i haven't got any courage to come forward to talk to anyone.

I have my parents and a brother who is 2 years younger than I. I and my brother haven't had a conversation for about 14years. We don't hate each other. We exchange gifts for birthdays and don't envlove in serious fights.

My dad is 59 years old and comes home drunk 2 in the morining every single day. He has NEVER been abusive to me and the other family members. The problem is that he likes hanging out with his friends drinking all night long..
My concern is my mom decided not to care about him since he's been drinking ever since i was a baby.

I feel like I don't have a family for that we family don't talk to each other like other families do.
We just exchange simple questions only if it's necessary. I don't know how to share deep conversation since i have never had a decent relationship with my family. I love my family, but i don't know how to reconcile or befriend with them. Even if i know how to do so, it would be awkward for me to be friendly to them.

I feel ashamed to admit my family is abnormal.

Voting Results
59% Normal
Based on 37 votes (22 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 6 )
  • follow_me_down
    13 years ago

    You seem to have turned out perfectly normal member of society..so congratulations. Please don't feel ashamed of having an abnormal family. Its more common to be disconnected than you think.

    But please never think that you are too old to want/need someone to talk to. Everyone needs a support system. I caution you not to get your hopes up about gaining a closer relationship with your immediate family members as this has been the way they seem to have worked for most of your life. They seem to be comfortable being "abnormal"...and unless they get some professional family counseling, I doubt you can change 20 + years of disinterest.

    Unfortunately you will probably have to seek someone outside your immediate family like an aunt or uncle or grandmother etc. that you can confide in.

    However, if this is extremely important for you to connect with your family, you have to be brave and breach the subject. Who knows, maybe your brother feels the exact same way but doesn't know how to bring it up. Just talk from your heart. Say what you said here.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • lululu
    13 years ago

    fortunately we can relieve our anger and feelings on this website...i'm living the same situation as you. my parents are divorced so my father moved out when i was young and since then our relationship impoverished... now that i'm 19 , i'm used to meet him twice a month and we never have a deep conversation cuz he's always too busy to reserve a little time for me . he's got a brother who is my uncle but i've never seen them having a deep conversation. they behave like they were strangers...and i feel ashamed to ask them why cuz i'm sure they would not know how to reply.it's a frozen brotherhood

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • MrsBailey9
    12 years ago

    My father was a raging, abusive, alcoholic. I was "taught" to keep my mouth shut and to never discuss "family business". In the 70's people didn't talk about abuse. In the 80's it was the trend to talk about abuse, but not do anything about it. In the 90's, everyone was arrested for abuse. Now in this day and age, help is available for everyone. Support groups, therapy, classes, you name it, they have books and videos on it!! I agree that dysfunctional families often are like yours, no one talks about it, but it's there, looming over everyone. If you want things to change, YOU, have to be the one to get things rolling. Sounds like your parents are just cruising along as if this is just the way it is... It doesn't have to be. You can change yourself and how you interact with your family, you can NOT change them.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • DurazStrike
    13 years ago

    Just like my boring family.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    yo my peeps ok dude if this happens talk to your dad and say dad please stop dinking this hurts me and if you two dont stop dinking i will move out ok thats all i have to say peace

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • beneficialpest
    13 years ago

    Sweetie he IS abusing your mom and the rest of the family with his drinking. That is a form of abuse! He is an alcoholic! And a detached one at that. Your cold family has hurt you. Please do yourself a favor and put yourself in counseling. You can't change them but you can change you. Learn how to open yourself up so that you can stop the cycle of coldness.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0