Is this abuse or neglect?

14 Comments

My Mom and I fight A LOT! Everyday ends up in her and I crying but despising each other. We get in fights about stupid things. If I didn't take a shower right when she said she wanted me to then she grab me and literally pull me out of my bed. I lock the door but sometimes she pounds on it and screams and throws things. That's what it was like when I was little. It's not as bad now but sometimes she grab me and scream in my face and kick things. I know that I probably drive her to get that angry but I really don't mean to. Sometimes I really just feel like I want to be in another family that can handle me. Just yesterday she and I got in a huge fights because I don't really do any of my homework and she screeeeamed at me. She called me a bitch when we got out and we were both yelling at each other. This isn't one of those things where it's the daughter blaming her Mom for everything because I am just as responsible. But is this abuse? I live with my Grandparents because my Mom and I aren't stable living together. When she goes to my Grandparents she starts crying, we both do, but she starts saying a bunch of stuff and then it's all three of them yelling at me and looking at me in disgust. It hurts so much, and I really just want someone to defend me other than myself. I started cutting because of all these issues, and I'm slowly stopping, but I don't really know what to do. My Mother and I can't function around each other AT ALL!

Yes 5
No 4
Abuse 12
Neglect 7
Need for Social Services 18
No need for Social Services 5
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Comments ( 14 )
  • miss_anthro_P
    7 years ago

    Neglect is abuse, never forget. Social services can suck tho. If you can emancipate and be independent, do it.

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  • chriskar000
    9 years ago

    That is me and my dad and i'm a girl (14 gonna be 15 soon), he has pushed me, pulled my hair, called me names (mainly bitch), hit me upside the head, push me against my desk, and compares me to my sister. He won't let me live with my mom. Except everytime he does that, he apologizes but it happens again and again. Should I call somebody? Please reply.

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    • wistfulmaiden
      8 years ago

      Yes tell your mom and when you go to court tell the judge.

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  • Charlie075
    11 years ago

    Say these words- I love you. I don't want to argue anymore. Talk to me.

    Say it like you mean it with no aggression, eye brows up, face open, facing her.

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  • oliviaamichelle
    12 years ago

    It isn't like hitting abuse but sounds like bad emotional abuse. :/

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  • Lynxikat
    12 years ago

    I always thought that neglect WAS abuse.

    How old are you now? Maybe it can be considered emotional abuse? Idk, I'm definitely not an expert on something like this. Sorry about your situation, though :(

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  • RaNdOmPoPcOrN
    12 years ago

    Oh my god, I found someone, with the same childhood as me, I had bipoler and trust me i tryed to kill myself many times from it

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  • Seustewart
    12 years ago

    Where's you father in all this?

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    • Heyhi
      12 years ago

      My Dad and my Mom separated after I was born. They got in fights to and my Dad was addicted to drugs. He quit though. He lives 45 minutes away from where I live and he isn't really that involved.

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      • Seustewart
        12 years ago

        That's pretty sad actually. Just make sure you don't turn out the same way. Somebody has to break the chain. :)

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  • RinTin
    12 years ago

    MAYBE some emotional abuse when you were younger. I don't know about now since I don't really know what she does or yells at you about besides your homework. (<-Not a good example) Needless to say it's not healthy for either of you, and it sounds like you're taking on her habits. Both of you should see a counselor together and separately to work through your issues and teach you how to communicate.

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  • [email protected]
    12 years ago

    Your family sounds like a lot of FUN.I wish you people lived near me!

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  • Ono
    12 years ago

    Cause and effect.

    You won't do what she asks you, even a simple task, you know what her reaction will be (even if it isn't a healthy reaction) but you do what you want anyway. You don't mention a father, so in guessing she's a single mother. As I said, her reaction isn't a healthy one, but would it really be that hard to do something she's asked of you?

    You say you're just as responsible, but you don't seem like you have any plans to change your own behavior that causes the conflict. What point is there accepting responsibility if you continue to do the same thing? I know as a teenager it can be pretty difficult to see things from someone else's point of view, but you have the 3 adults in your life seeing something you're not.

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    Both of you sound hormonal and need to calm down. She's cracking up coz you won't do what you're told and you're cracking up coz she seems to be ranting all the time. She sounds frustrated with you.

    If I were you I'd stick a smile on my face and say, "Yes, Mom. OK Mom." to anything she asks.

    Both of you need Kalms tablets to take the edge off your anger. One thing's for sure, cutting will not help you resolve your issues.

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