Is this a normal relationship?

About half a year ago, my friend met this guy online and they started to talk a bit. He's ten years older than her; she's 15 and he is 25. They met over Instagram. At first she was hesitant because of the large age difference, but she quickly found that they had lots of shared interests and similarities. They eventually started video chatting like every day and she says they always have so much fun just talking with each other. She told me they'd both often forget they were a different age because they could relate so well. I know that she is very mature for her age; she's always preferred talking to older people anyway. She said recently they both started to get feelings for each other. It's gotten to the point where they genuinely act like boyfriend and girlfriend. They have met three times in real life so far. I know people will say that she shouldn't trust him because they met over the Internet, but she knows he hasn't lied about anything and he would never hurt her. The fact that it's an online relationship isn't even an issue. They just both love being with each other and it makes them both really happy. They have kissed each other and she said there was so much love and it was very passionate. She says she wants to be with him one day and that she knows he feels the same way. Is this normal?

Voting Results
37% Normal
Based on 97 votes (36 yes)
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Comments ( 43 )
  • The online part is not the issue - it's the age of the girl: she's a child! Nothing else matters.

    No, it's not a normal relationship.

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  • disthing

    He's probably not a paedophile! A lot of you people don't even know what a paedophile actually is. He might be an ephebophile (attracted to those in late adolescence), but that's assuming it's a preference!

    At 15, you are quite physically developed. Women are in the latter stages of adolescence to the point where they are unlikely to grow a great deal more. You can certainly have all the physical faculties associated with female adulthood. It's the emotional maturity that tends to be lacking.

    It's in no way a normal pairing, considering the age difference, but I wouldn't go so far as to condemn it. I think it'd be wise to resist the temptation of a sexual relationship and wait, at least until it's legal for both (16 is the age of consent here, in America I understand it's 18 in most states?). She is the most vulnerable in the relationship, so most at risk of being hurt. However, if they genuinely care for each other and are both intelligent and mature enough to handle a relationship, as well as weary enough of the legal implications to be cautious about their actions, I think it's acceptable. It might not be ideal, but the heart wants what it wants, and frankly I don't consider 15 to be so young as to render what the heart wants null and void.

    Apparently I'm in the minority for not wanting to burn this guy at the stake. Oh well.

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    • bosslady714

      Very well put, that's coming from a once 15 yr old with a once 28 yr old, that are STILL together nine yrs later.

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  • RoseIsabella

    It's not normal, this chick is still a kid and that makes him a pedophile. What's wrong with him that he can't get a chick his own age?

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    • KaffeInjection

      IIN i have to take a shit now?

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      • RoseIsabella

        I know what you mean. Don't hold it in, go take that poop.

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        • robbieforgotpw

          People are trying to steal my thunder so I'm gonna beefstew any challenger!
          'Beefstew, beefstew' - benchwarmers reference. See that movie Rosie?
          *ppffffbbrrrtttttttttt**

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          • RoseIsabella

            Nope, I haven't seen that movie, Robbie

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            • robbieforgotpw

              Please do so thank you..."beefstew, beefstew, beefstew"

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    • Do you even know what a pedophile is? Pedophiles are people who are attracted to children. Small children who are undeveloped. 8 years old at most.
      Just the fact that she is a minor doesn't make him a pedophile. Yes, it is wrong and in most countries illegal for an adult to have sexual intercourse with a minor but still teens over 12 begin to develop physically and a lot of teen girls look much older than they are.
      So that makes him a normal guy who is just a little irresponsible.

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    • A pedophile is somebody who's only attracted to people under 12 years of age.

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    • Youknowmyname

      Yeah, apparently he had a girlfriend that he was with for a long time that was around his age before he met her.

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      • I think you are the girl who's dating him.

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        • RoseIsabella

          That's what I was thinking!

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    • jimrichy

      It does NOT make him a pedophile. Understand what words mean before you use them.

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    • zxc

      "What's wrong with him that he can't get a chick his own age?"
      I have a uncle who married a girl his own age and now her look lot older than my uncle.

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      • RoseIsabella

        So what? Who cares what she looks like!

        A 25 year old with a 15 year old is a pedophile(child molester) or a person with a low intellect and possibly even both.

        What do you mean, "now her look lot older than my uncle"? Sounds like a caveman.

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        • robbieforgotpw

          Captain CaaaveMaaannn!!
          And son!

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          • RoseIsabella

            Unga bunga.

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            • robbieforgotpw

              I had forgotten about that!

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        • zxc

          whatever i just gave an example to ur above statement that i quoted and u didnt understand it.

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  • Half_Shock

    If he can't get a girl closer to his age there is something seriously wrong with him, If he's attracted to children there is something seriously wrong with him. Look it doesn't matter how mature your friend is, they are in completely different stages of their lives.

    Could I be wrong? Yes, but let me make it very clear, the chances of that are incredibly slim. It is normal for children her age to become infatuated with guys that are a lot older, but any decent ones will make it clear that nothing will ever happen.

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  • zebraprintedroses

    I'm very torn here. It's normal for people dating online to feel this way, but it's not normal for an adult to be dating a kid.

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  • ygrowup

    As long as they just act as friends and share thoughts and feelings till she is old enough, then all is fine. But to pursue love at this time for her with a guy that much older usually ends in heartbreak. If they are truly meant to be together, then it will happen when she is old enough to be sure

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  • Terence_the_viking

    As with any internet related stuff you need to be extremely careful.

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  • PureLikeSnow

    Could this post miss the point any harder?

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    • Half_Shock

      nope he's a creep, I think I got it, but thanks for adding absolutely nothing to the discussion.

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  • RoseIsabella

    I have a message for all the fathers out there, spend time with your daughters and pay attention to them; love them. This post is an example of a desperate, lonely, little girl without a good male role model. Statutory rape is next with OP's "friend" if it hasn't happened already.

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    • jimrichy

      It may not be statutory rape, it depends on the law. We're not told which country her friend lives in. It may be completely legal.

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    • Youknowmyname

      She's actually gotta really good father and whole family that she spends a lot of time with. She's got a lot of friends too, and had a guy her age wanting to go out with her. Idk maybe you should know the person you're talking about before you judge so harshly.

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      • RoseIsabella

        You sound pretty defensive for someone just talking about a "friend." Either way, the relationship you've described in your post is completely not normal and just plain wrong.

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  • AgentHitGirl

    Well love is love...if they are truly in love then age shouldn't matter I used to have a gay friend who was 14 and he was dating this guy who was 19 and they were really in love!It was so cute to see them together...

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  • bosslady714

    I was 15 and my boyfriend was 28 when we met. Now i am 24 and hes 37 and were still together. Yeah sure I call him a dirty pedophile on occasion.

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    • Youknowmyname

      how did you two make it work when you were that young?

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      • bosslady714

        For 1, because by age 14 I had already experienced more than the average 30-40 year old had...

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      • robbieforgotpw

        Well he could only see her when she wasn't down for a nap

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        • RoseIsabella

          Hell yeah!

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          • robbieforgotpw

            You are very stingy with the paws up

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            • RoseIsabella

              LOL! Awe, hang in there.

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  • imadragon

    I'm sure most people who've been in an abusive relationship said "He/she would never do anything to hurt me, or lie." in the beginning. That's just an example.

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  • Kerry69

    Here's a court case coming up..

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  • guest1455

    When he was 15 she was 5 and he would have to be pretty immature to believe he forgets she is 15 plus age barley hit puberty like a year ago this guy is old enough to have a child and family there is nothing okay about it. And say the guy is genuine he could go to prison and neither person wants that. And ask yourself about a 10 year age difference what your heart say Should be enough. Don't make excuses for her or him because the law won't and you have to be a good friend.

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    • robbieforgotpw

      May I have some barley

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