Is this a dick move or being nice?

4 Comments

So I met a nice girl on tinder. She is very insecure about herself from what I can tell and is very overweight (or thiccc depending who you ask). We have gone on two dates so far and after lots of small talk on tinder and irl, I decided to come clean. I told her that I wasn't looking for serious relationship right now. She said okay and looked a little dismayed. On our second date we cuddled a lot and I can tell she is very into me sexually. To confirm this, the morning after our second date she texted me and asked if I wanted to cuddle again. I said sure and asked if I should bring a condom and how much clothes I can wear. She said yes and none.

Part of me feels bad because she wanted to be serious with me but that's not what I wanted. I thought she would leave me then but I think shes horny and thinks sleeping with a guy way out of her league could really help her confidence and self esteem. A lot of poeple would call this using girls for sex or "objectifying" women. But if I don't fly a false flag and make it explicitly clear that we are fuck buddies and nothing else, is what I'm doing still wrong? Input please!

It's fine bro your honest and it's her choice 33
Shallow and kinda taking advantage but not too bad 9
Awful and misogynistic as hell 1
Other (comment please!) 0
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Comments ( 4 )
  • ellnell
    4 years ago

    If you told her you want nothing serious then she knows what she's getting into. However you should remind her of this again and really be clear about it so she won't start thinking you've changed your mind. It's a pretty shitty attitude to have calling yourself out of her leauge but that's a whole different thing. You are willing to sleep with her after all so clearly you either find her attractive or you're just very desperate in which case one could question just how amazing you are yourself.

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    • d0esnormalmatter
      4 years ago

      Well sir, I find her very, very attractive but shes not most people's type. Most guys don't like girls as fat as her but I do. I'm 6'4" 245 pounds of mostly lean muscle but I haven't been pursuing sex too aggressively because of how busy I am with school and working out. I could go to parties and get laid a lot more which I did last year but that would mess up my sleep. So I made a tradeoff by quiting college parties and instead use a lazier method in tinder. I get way more tinder matches than all my friends and most other guys by the sound of it so I know I am pretty attractive to most women.

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      • xnathan319
        4 years ago

        there's something gross about the way you write that though.

        leagues aren't a thing; if you're attracted to her and she's attracted to you, who's to say she isn't out of your league.

        and before you come after me calling me jealous (because I really don't wanna fight man) I am clocking in with a very similar physique so i understand what you're saying. I just think you're going about the concept wrong. If you find her attractive that's that. counting your matches doesn't affect the fact that out of all of them, you're thinking about her.

        to answer your question more directly though, there's nothing wrong with telling someone you're only looking for casual, and then pursuing casual. it'd be shitty if you were lying but you were upfront about it so props. go for it man but don't think you're doing her a favour or gracing her with your body or something.

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  • Cutie12345
    4 years ago

    so I’m a girl, and I kind of understand what she might be feeling. I’m not overweight but sometimes I am insecure about myself and I think guys are taking advantage of me for sex. If she wants it then that is her choice, but make sure you make it clear that you both only want it for the sex. Also, one thing I think is important is that you put a little bit of effort into staying friends. This will help because she won’t think you’re just using her for her body.

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