Is there such a thing as a loyal man?

49% Normal
28 Comments

My experience is beginning to make me doubt this. Even the nicest of guys are known to stray. Guys who love their girlfriends with all their hearts, guys who have the most beautiful partners, all types of guys do the dirty, deceive their girlfriends; break their hearts. And all for what? A one night stand or a sleazy affair with some girl that they don’t like enough to be in a relationship with. Some girl that they only see good enough to share a pillow with for a couple of hours.

It makes me wonder, what we have to do to stop our guys from going elsewhere. Are we doing something wrong? Could we prevent it, or are guys just incapable of being satisfied with what they already have?

It’s a thought that makes me glad that I don’t have all that worry on my shoulder, the worry of being in a relationship and been scared of losing it. Being vulnerable to heartache. But then theres that saying, ‘better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all’ which I do actually agree with. Because losing something can make you stronger, and more determined to get what you want the next time round. If I hadn’t of loved and lost, I wouldn’t be so cautious now, which at times can be a bad thing, but the majority of the time it helps me recognise the good guys from the bad. Even though, sometimes I do ‘recognise’ them a little too late.

But yeah, having witnessed many unfaithful guys – and girls – in the past, AND present AND more then likely the future, I can’t help but wonder, is it possible to ever find a guy that you can trust completely, without been let down?

Voting Results
49% Normal
Based on 98 votes (48 yes)
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Comments ( 28 )
  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Believe it or not, there are guys out there who are faithful.

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  • AnotherAussie
    14 years ago

    as a guy who haz never been led astray by any means i sopose ur question is kinda void. . .

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    • Shifter
      14 years ago

      So you think its void to ask if you can ever truley trust someone completely? lol

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  • 1000yrVampireKing
    11 years ago

    No one really knows what it means to be in a relationship these days. Finding someone faithful is hard to find these days.

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  • whatsnormalanyways
    11 years ago

    It all depends how you define loyalty. If loyal to you means that your significant other does not even lust after a beautiful woman in his mind, then yes, that is pretty difficult to find. If loyal to you means that your man won't have an emotional and sexual connection to another woman while in a relationship with you, then sure you can find some loyal guys. If loyalty is important to you, first define what it means to be loyal to your partner (things you will tolerate and things you won't). For example, I have heard plenty of people thinks kissing another person on the lips while in a relationship does not constitute cheating. I for instance disagree.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Yep, never cheated or lied to my partners in my life. if I feel that something's wrong and we can't fix it, I just break up.

    I have a bunch of other issues, but honesty and loyalty never was one.

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  • b17ftw
    12 years ago

    yes, but as far as i have seen, only one: ME

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  • zenji
    12 years ago

    Even Jimmy Carter WANTED to do other women. All men stray, with their minds. More than half stray with their minds and dicks. Nature of the beast. They try not to, but it's the nature of the beast. They also like to upgrade, i.e. if they lose weight, win the lottery, or become famous, they will dump current mate and upgrade to new one. DNA doesn't care about the individual.

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  • sickness
    13 years ago

    Loyalty and men can be found in the same place. We're not all bad guys, you know.

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    • Shifter
      13 years ago

      I know that now.

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  • Blu
    13 years ago

    maybe the question should be about dedication and responsibility. there are people who are already tired of doing things but couldn't stop because they promised to carry on to the end.

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  • DrinaVonCheez
    13 years ago

    Aww there IS such a thing as a loyal man & I was right there with the rest of you cynical people untill I finally found a great guy :]
    Before we even dated he was good to me & kept me in mind when other girls would practically throw themselves on him. Yes, ive been cheated on a few times before with past boyfriends..ugh what a waste that was. Good thing this boy found me, i was ready to give up on love lol now I'm finally on my way to believing :3

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    • Shifter
      13 years ago

      Same here! Completely the same

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  • wwalkingwolfw
    14 years ago

    so glad i found this particular forum. i'm a 39 year old virgin and i'm a man. cheap one night stands are completely disgusting to me. i made the decision to wait for the one when i was thirteen. i believe in total commitment to one's mate. when i find the one i'll be hers for life. she'll leave me before i even think about leaving her. i'll date her long enough to hopefully know her well enough to make the decision to marry. if i ever did leave her it would be a situation where the both of us find we weren't compatible after all. i wouldn't leave her over selfish reasons. i'd pray from the beginning to see the real her so divorce might never happen. i want one special woman and one only. to love, pamper, adore, and make ridiculously happy every day of her life. there are those like me who want to commit but i'm afraid there's only like 5 of us or something.

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    • moonriver
      9 years ago

      @wwalkingwolfw your comment caught my attention. That i registered here so i can give comment on you. I'm glad there is still a man who have a point of view like this. The way you think is almost exactly like me.

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    • Hung
      11 years ago

      From history it appears man's genes dictate= spread sperm to many females. A woman's genes dictate, bear children by the brightest, strongest, most well off male you can seduce. This will insures strong, healthy offspring. (IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO to our genes).
      The above survival scenario brought us through every catastrophes of the past.(We produced more children than Nature could consume).
      However in modern society that method can leave many single parent homes and children as wards of the state.
      Bottom line protect the children at all cost.
      Suck up to the "til-death-do-we-part scenario" that is inconsistent with human nature.
      GOSH, YOU-ALL, GET A PUPPY. IT WILL TEACH WHAT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS ALL ABOUT.

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    • zenji
      12 years ago

      I take it you don't look like Brad Pitt. Maybe religious freak, or just torturing yourself, or immature to the point of unable to have a girlfriend you love, and have sex with her.

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  • PiAnt
    14 years ago

    Yes, there is.

    As you say, it's not just guys who can stray, and nothing compares to the pain of deceipt and infidelity from someone in whom you invest everything you are.

    Except, maybe, the pain of having to deal with it without the love and support of the one person who can help you.

    Small wonder, then, that we're not likely to run that risk again in a hurry. And how can you give your heart again when it hasn't yet been returned to you?

    A very painful lesson indeed.

    Still, there's always a glimmer of hope to keep you going.

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    • Shifter
      14 years ago

      Yeah i totally agree. I guess i gave this the wrong title, should have put person rather than man.

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  • leahquestions
    14 years ago

    some how I think all people will let you down in one way or another, we're all human. Rather not love at all then I'm fine.. I don't trust any man. I've never picked the right ones and I was married 21 years. Most want a piece of ass I've found--- rich or poor it doesn't matter. I just run now... hope one day I might find that special man be friends with first but I'm not going out my way to look or anyhting anymore-- my heart is gone and I don't want it back... all whom I deal with are women... I'm not gay-- love sex but it ain't happening not for a very long time.

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    • Shifter
      14 years ago

      I agree to be honest with you. Its too hard to put your all into loving someone, just to be let down in the end. Maybe we sound cynical, but i think we have reason to! Im sure women can be just as bad at times, not me persoanlly - if i say i want to be with someone, i mean that.

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  • Lala08
    14 years ago

    Is there such a thing as a loyal man? - NO.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    I can't believe I am going into this and before I do, SHUT THE HELL UP JEN. There, with that being said, I am a faithful guy.

    I have posted stories in the past to cure my curiousity as I am with a very heavy girlfriend but I have been good with her. I have never cheated on her and although JUST YESTERDAY (I wrote a story on this yesterday)I walked into a girl I had a crush on at my old job and it really didn't mean anything when I saw her.

    Sure, I could take the blame off of guys and blame you women for this crap but the truth is, it is both our faults. For the guys, it is up to us to make our decisions and not to be influenced by others, for instance Jen or that Tyger girl have been harrassing me to no end but it is my choice to ignore them and not get annoyed by them. Ultimately, it is up to the man to cheat or not cheat and it doesn't matter who you are as the girlfriend to really affect this outcome.

    ON THE OTHER HAND, it is a great deal of the womans fault as well. I don't know who you are but most of the women, media, and for popularity; the woman general will pick the piece of shit for a man due to them acting like an ass over a decent but not hotter guy who works hard and would stay faithful. It is a lot your fault for picking the guys who satisfy the feeling 'down below' and not in your mind.

    As I do not personally know you, are you dating the dorky, but faithful guy, or the hotter, but an ass, type of guy? It matters greatly and to all the women who believe they can just 'change' a guy, I hope he beats the hell out of you when you bitch that he is cheating on you. However, if you are dating a dorky guy, one who would be usually out of your league, then he will stay as his option truly aren't there and he will value what you have.

    Also, don't treat the guy like a jerk. Women have been doing that for a while now and it isn't really needed and solves nothing.

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    • Jen118584
      14 years ago

      Way to let things go, Bud.

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    • BrightEyes
      14 years ago

      Both you and the poster have made a similar error. She continues to use the word "we" in reference to herself and all women. Believe it or not "we" are not all in this together. You, Budthewise, group all men into two categories:

      1.) Attractive and worthless.

      2.) Ugly and dependable.

      Here, you stray, for not all men fall into these two categories. Indeed, there are many combinations of personality and body type that make up our idea of a man. I will not even pretend to know them all. Let's explore two possibilities other than those that you have inspected, Budthewise. Consider:

      1.) A man who is less than wonderfully beautiful. He has been outcast by women for years until he meets one who finds him interesting and becomes his girlfriend. Might not this man feel empowered? Might not he feel as if this was always what was coming to him? Such a man might stay faithful, as you have suggested, but such a man might also feel so emboldened as to cheat with another woman. He does this not to hurt his girlfriend but to strengthen himself, to reassure and assert his dominance over women that had for so long been denied to him.

      2.) A man who rivals Adonis in his manner and features. Such a man would surely garner many women's attention, wouldn't you say? To be sure, he would be well-used to those attentions and might grow bored of being sought after for his face and only his face. Yes, he may indeed ride out their affections for as long as his looks last, bedding the women as they come to him. But he may also see these women as petty and boring. He comes to find a woman he loves, who stimulates him in every area necessary, and because this woman was so rare, he might very well stay faithful to her.

      Those are only two distinct possibilities. Budthewise, you may be drawing from personal experience which is not unwise as that is how we all learn. I too draw from personal experience.

      Poster: Yes, you can find a faithful man, be he lovely or homely. And not all women have been cheated on. Do not lump us together.

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      • Shifter
        13 years ago

        Wow i almost forgot i had wrote this.

        First of all I agree that I made the mistake of putting 'we', I was not assuming that all females had been decieved or cheated on by a man although it sounds this way.

        I wrote this particular question because of my previous experiences as I said at the beggining of the post. Not only had I been cheated on in the past but i went through a phase were i would talk to guys whether or not they had a girlfriend and didn't particularly care if they did or not. I met alot of guys who did have girlfriends yet seemed to temperaily forget about that - if you know what i mean - and although i admit that on my part it was REALLY bad to go with guys that i knew had partners, i feel now i did that to prove to myself that all men were the same.

        Although the guys I did meet managed to prove me right, i can see now that not all guys are like this, and i probably knew from the start that those particular men would cheat, sometimes you just know the sort straight from the off. I guess i went on a mission to prove men were dicks and i was wrong to do that.

        I can honestly say now that i do believe you can find a loyal guy, i'm happy to say i'm not with one who i know would never hurt me in that way. I guess sometimes you need to step back and stop painting everyone with the same brush.

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        • Shifter
          13 years ago

          I apolgise for my poor spelling, i was in a rush and couldn't be bothered to correct myself

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      • [Old Memory]
        14 years ago

        Yeah, I was generalizing but I had a valid point. Usually the better guys aren't part of the "elite" group at any school but will show up later on after people get tired of being pooed on.

        I got lucky with my fiance as I am her first 'everything' and she hasn't dealt with all of the other stuff that people go through.

        However, lets be honest. What attracts a woman more, the head quaterback or the leading guy on the chessclub or mathclub?

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