Is there something wrong with me?
my mother hates my guts, she says how embarrassed she is of having me and she says I’m a horrible person, she says I’m the devil and she wasnts to choke me. Today I told my bigger sister (18 yrs) that I forgot the keys in another room, she got mad at me and she said she doesn’t want to see me ever again. She called me a bi** and a cu**. my sister yelled at me in the car saying I’m dead to all of them and I will never be anything in life, my mother sat silent and called me a snake. Sometimes I really feel like beating the sh** out of both of them, and all I do is bottle up my feelings, it’s so unfair, anything I do they suppress me telling me I’ll never be enough. all my family hates me and I suffer from anxiety. I sometimes become suicidal. I tell myself to keep going and that one day I’ll show them what they where mussing. Until then all the di is beat me and make me cry. I tried so many times to make them understand, I always get upset because of what they do to me but my mother only always blame me saying I am waste. I tried confronting them about what they say to me but my mother calls me a thilthy liar and says I’m Satan.
Nevertheless she’s my mother and the only time she’s nice to me is when i haven’t been around her for a while. Her excuse is that I’m a spoiled brat and I deserve nothing. I believe that if my mother didn’t despise me, she just likes me, but doesn’t not love me. meanwhile I hear her sweetly waking my older sister who is a ruthless person. Please I really need someone to understand. I’m a teenager