Is the first kiss the key to "locking down" a girl in a relationship?

16 Comments

I'm a 21 yr old guy who has had bad luck with "locking down" girls into relationships. I consider myself to be a gentleman and therefore respect women and their space. But sometimes I think I may respect it too much. I think I wait too long to make that first kiss happen with different girls and as a result, these girls just sort of slowly flutter away.

So is the first kiss extremely important in getting a girl (or perhaps a guy) to keep their eyes and heart with only you? And also does the timing of it make a difference? Should you go for the first kiss as quickly as you can without looking desperate? Comment below in addition to responding to the yes or no poll. I need suggestions and answers. Thanks.

Yes 10
No 23
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Comments ( 16 )
  • dom180
    10 years ago | pl

    This sounds a lot like overthinking to me. Kiss someone you like when you want to and it feels right and good, not when you think it will have the effect ABC.

    It's a bit naive to ever think you can monopolise another person's affections, and if that is what you're aiming for you're extremely unlikely to succeed.

    Realise that being respectful and appearing sexless are not the same thing. If a girl likes you, it's pretty much a given that she wants to kiss you.

    Commit yourself to relationships, make mistakes and work out from your mistakes for yourself what makes relationships work and what doesn't. Don't stall and avoid even getting started because you feel like there's something respectful about it.

    When you kiss someone really doesn't have an impact on any of the important factors that make a good relationship good.

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    • Hayze
      10 years ago

      I love you, marry me? :D

      Seriously though, dom180, you write well and provide great advice and support to people here. Nicely put.

      OP, I agree with what dom180 says. Although I value kissing quite highly. It is not about when a man kisses me. In fact if he tries too soon and the feeling is just not right then it will hinder the developing relationship somewhat because I will feel awkward. It does not mean that you should take it as the golden seal to a relationship. I have had relationships with men who I did not enjoy their kisses and still felt happy at the time.

      If I were getting to know a man like you (from what you have said), and I felt attracted to you I would be hoping to see some signs that you are attracted to me. Kissing is just one of many ways to show somebody you want physical intimacy. If you are worried about not being respectful, kiss the lady on the wrist, hand, or neck. Stroke her hair. Show her your attraction. If the feeling is mutual you will have succeeded in "locking down" the girl. Unusual term, but I see what you mean by it.

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      • dom180
        10 years ago

        Thank you very much! :) I'm glad to be able to help people.

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    I'd pretty much start with your idea of a relationship. I doubt many girls have any interest in being "locked down".

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  • disthing
    10 years ago

    "Locking down" girls with kisses?
    All sounds like player speak to me.

    Physical affection is an overt confirmation of your feelings/desires towards a person.
    You do it because you want to, you think she wants to too, and it feels like a good idea.

    They should be the only factors.

    You shouldn't be thinking of it as a method of trapping a girl emotionally, making her fall for you.

    So no, it's not 'the key to locking down a girl in a relationship', it's a pleasurable and fun thing to do with someone you fancy who fancies you too.

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    • disthing
      10 years ago

      Anyway, clearly the key to locking a girl in a relationship is anal.

      Once you do that, there's no coming back.

      If a girl winks at you it's code she wants it in the ass immediately.

      Totally true..

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      • Hayze
        10 years ago

        hahahaha :D

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    • dom180
      10 years ago

      I didn't mention it myself, but I thought it sounded like player speak too. "How to make a girl like you in five easy, systematic steps allowing you to emotionally detach yourself, shield yourself from blame for your own failure and make any contact you have her as sterile and devoid of emotion as possible!"

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  • Xfing
    10 years ago

    Sorry, but in my experience kissing doesn't make the girl stay, even if you do it well. I've struggled with girls I was seeing falling in love with other guys for a long time. IMO the reason is: sex. You need to lay the pipe to the girl, apparently most of the girl's attachment is created after sex. I seldom have sex with girls as I don't have my own place to do it at.

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  • ViolenceAgainstTheState
    10 years ago

    Men seem to think "Do A, B and C" and you'll be rewarded in "D".

    Treat women as machines and you'll very soon discover that they aren't.

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  • handsignals
    10 years ago

    Relationship
    In lock down
    Drops the soap
    Cry's deeply
    Fade to black

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  • dickwashington
    10 years ago

    i just dont like the fact you use the phase "lock down" to describe your relationship

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  • mixwell
    10 years ago

    I didnt read the whole thing but you are not going to lock shit down by kissing a girl. Get with the program you fucking tourist.

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  • Riddler
    10 years ago

    You make it sound like you are going to lock them in a cage.

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  • TheMightyOz
    10 years ago

    When I kiss a girl, she says my kisses are a perfect 10. She wants to take me to bed to kiss. She doesn't even want to have sex. Sometimes I'll say, "Let's get naughty." But the girls only say, "Shut up and kiss me." After a few months I drift away because of no sex.

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  • Who_Fan4Life
    10 years ago

    Go right for ''the first fuck.''

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