Is sleep sex fetish normal

I have been married for thirty years. I have known my husband since elementary school, although we didn't become involved until after graduation. He had other sexual encounters before me. My husband started messing with me in my sleep about seven years ago. Our relationship has really gone downhill and this new thing hasn't helped at all. I now do not want to have sex with him anymore. I feel completely violated. I have my own room now. I thought the problem had stopped although there have been times I have woke up with him kneeling beside me..wierd stuff. But, he was definitely up to it again two days ago. The fact he does it is upsetting enough, but the real concern is why is he doing this after all these years? Is he going through a midlife crisis? Does he really want to be with someone else? Has he just lost his damn mind? And if I should wake up with him messing with me and I break his face...Will I go to jail? I feel raped. Suggestions? Since I have been with this man my whole life, I would rather try to understand him than leave him. But I feel violated and just want to leave. I'm confused. We have had great sex since the beginning, and shared many fantasies with each other until he started doing this. And, now I just don't understand why he is doing this.