Is she into me or over it?

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9 Comments

I met this girl through coach a youth sports team. when i first met her i was attracted to her, she was exactly my type but i thought she was straight. I tried my best not to develop feelings and that worked for the first half of the season. But the second half I really enjoyed being around her. I thought everything she said or did was cute. And I caught her saying comments that convinced me she thought the same. I wasn't making any direct moves since we coaches middle schoolers and she works for the school district. We did have that stare which made me think maybe she isn't so straight.
after our last tournament parents were asking me if we were coachin next year, i responded by saying idk since im starting grad school in the fall (the school i attend is in another state but only a hr away). later she drove me to my car do i didnt have to drag the goalie bag along. after expressing my thanks for helping me coach she then says how she didnt realize i was going away for school. she was bummed and i responded well i probably can work something out since im only a hr away. She goes ok i have time to persuade you. so then we go our separate ways.
For a few months we would randomly text each other just to catch up and try to keep in touch. granted I had to be the one to start the Convo but she always responded and ended up being a good Convo. she was always laughing to what i was saying and it was easy ; not like pulling teeth. there was one time she texted me I'm pretty sure right before her bed time about something so random i think how she say saw of our players i responded and she didn't (figured she went to sleep) so the next day I texted her being like really u text me randomly and no Convo develops. She laughs then we talk. last month I texted her she was at a bday party so I was like ok have fun then I texted her several weeks later being like hey stranger no response. So I texted her a a few days ago and nothing .
I don't know what to think. I'm pretty new to this. Just realized I'm a lesbian about a yr ago. I don't think I was annoying considering I would only text her once a month, if anything I needed to be aggressive. What do you guys think? Help?! I can't get her off my mind and I haven't seen her months, I'm thinking I should give up

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55% Normal
Based on 29 votes (16 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • iezegrim
    11 years ago

    From the sound of your text message, I don't think she is gay. I think she thought you were cool but it slowly started to dawn on her that you wanted more than just a platonic friendship so she backed right off. (I am a straight girl and it's happened to me several times and I behaved the same way as your girl has. Same old story; I make friends with an awesome gay girl who ruins it by coming on strong.) If I was gay, I'd do some reconnaissance first (if at all possible) to find out if my target was also gay. Find out what her sexual orientation is. It is not difficult to do. Don't trust yourself. Humans tend to highlight the positive and ignore the negative. We will find any reason to confirm what we wish to be true. We're made that way. We cannot trust our own feelings a great deal of the time. If we could, we wouldn't come to websites like this for objective opinions.
    Most straight people have exactly the same problem because unless you're young and highly attractive, only a small proportion of the opposite sex will be attracted to you. So don't feel like you get a real bum deal because only 5-10% of people are gay. You will find someone wonderful. Keep up with what sounds like a great life full of meaningful and social activities. You will be fine. I know it's hard because I've been obsessed with guys that I can't get out of my head and once it went on for five years but either one of two things will eventually happen:
    1. You will have a relationship with this woman, or
    2. You will find someone else who makes you incredibly happy and you will forget about this girl. This happened to me. After 5 yrs of obsessing, I met a guy who was crazy about me and I gave him a go, even though I wasn't interested. He grew on me and I ended up falling in love with him and that was 12 happy years ago. My life is wonderful most of the time and so will yours be. Distract yourself as much as you can but in healthy ways. Please don't drown your sorrows with alcohol or drugs. It doesn't sound like you're that sort anyway, being all sporty and that, which is excellent. BTW, why do so many gay women play team sports? Is it because it's the best way of being around all women? The entire Australian women's hockey team is gay, so I'm told. Well, almost entirely. Also, I have noticed that gay women these days look a lot more like straight women than they did a generation ago. The stereotype of the short hair, no makeup, no jewelry, no skirts/dresses is starting to dissipate. Do you agree? I think it's because being gay is much more socially acceptable now, thank God.

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    • Xolaur33
      11 years ago

      thanks for your feedback! in response to your questions i think girls get interested in sports at a young age for various reasons then later in life they realized they are attracted to the same sex. so the reason usually isnt to be around other lesbians that just happens.

      Also, the whole lesbians looking more like straight women instead of the sterotype question, i think is more of the idea that more lesbians are coming out and people are so hung up on sterotypes. I consider my self a femme and im attracted to other femmes as well. So it makes it hard for me to really tell who is or isnt a lesbian. For instance this story, this girl im crushing on isnt a stereotypical lesbian, she might be bi. so i have to use my gaydar picking up on signs and such.

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  • VioletTrees
    11 years ago

    Ask her.

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  • awkwardly1234
    11 years ago

    Tell her ur feelings! Don't ever give up on love only I she says to!

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    • Xolaur33
      11 years ago

      thanks for your response! Ill try not to give up but sometimes it seems easier too

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  • PapzBSlim
    11 years ago

    Sounds harsh but you may just not be a part of her life anymore.

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    • Xolaur33
      11 years ago

      thanks for your response! no its not harsh, its reality. if its meant to be im sure we will cross paths again. it might just be poor timely.

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  • blackolive
    11 years ago

    Try texting her and ask if she will meet up with you. You can hang out and try to get it going again. Its sounds like you have been apart for a while and didn't have enough time to make something happen. Good luck! :)

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    • Xolaur33
      11 years ago

      Thanks for the feedback! this is what i originally thought. based on her reaction when she found out im going away for school it seemed like she tried a long distance relationship before and doesnt want to go through that again or play games. she is a few years older than me and i can see her wanting to find someone to marry or start a family rather than going back and forth with a girl in school for two years.

      At this point im feel like im just going to stop trying for a little while and see if she ever hits me up (my stubborn personality kicking in). In a few months im sure we will hear from the directors to see if we want to coach again. at this time ill try again. hopefully this doesnt effect whether she wants to be around me other not :-/

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