Is our dynamic normal?

63% Normal
9 Comments

Basically I'm an apathetic a hole and don't care about other people unless they're close to me. My boyfriend is someone who is sensitive and cares for others issues even if they're not close.

I guess the perfect way to illustrate it is that one time we were carpooling to work and we saw a mangled, run over, man lying on the side of the road. There were people trying to help the man, but he was clearly dead. As we looked and drove by, my boyfriend was tearing up and shaken while I was all "meh" and kept driving like nothing. My boyfriend said "oh good! You don't care about what happened! You can help me stay calm!" I did and he was able to focus on his job.

When he cries and freaks out about unimportant things like not getting an amiibo, his hairstyle not coming out right, expensive fashionable clothing, etc I ring him in and stop his nonsense.

When I'm a cold person and dont give a crap about people, deaths, other people's problems, etc he rings me in and explains why I should care.

IIN?

Voting Results
63% Normal
Based on 8 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • [Old Memory]
    4 years ago

    Sensitivity is a strength--especially when tempered with honed critical thinking skills. Sounds like your boyfriend needs to work on reasoning more, and perhaps you need to work on empathy more. The best solution is almost always the balanced one.

    Also, for much of human history, we've been conditioned (brainwashed) to think "true men" are stoic, which is complete and utter bullshit, and causes GREAT HARM to our world on *so many levels*. Just as bad is the rising level of apathy in the world due mostly to over-saturation of news, people, and hype. Both are alarming and often linked to the skyrocketing incidences of mental health issues we're dealing with today, such as anxiety, depression, addictions, etc. Historically, emotions continue to play pivotal roles in human evolution, and it's unwise to discount that. The fact that we as a species are disinclined to consider mental health as important, if not more than, physical health is tragically counterproductive.

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  • rocketdave
    4 years ago

    On an average bus trip Pattaya-Bangkok-Pattaya every other day whilst working in Bangkok you'd see two or three road deaths a trip. If you let it get to you you'd be a basket case in a week.

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  • litelander8
    4 years ago

    I also drove past a mangled body once. I cried all night.

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  • Ellenna
    4 years ago

    Hmmm .... on a superficial level that sounds like a reasonably well balanced relationship, but surely it would be better if each of you as individuals learned to be more balanced within yourself?

    I don't see either of you as emotionally stronger than the other, by the way, even though I identify much more with your boyfriend than with you and in my opinion being sensitive and compassionate requires more strength than the opposite, but I wouldn't include hassles with hair styles and so on as being something it's worth being sensitive about. The mangled body on the side of the road is in a totally different category and I find being indifferent to seeing that quite strange.

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  • MrMercury24
    4 years ago

    It's great that you can help eachother like that tbh.

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  • KholatKhult
    4 years ago

    Being unresponsive to dead or damaged human bodies is actually a sign of low intelligence and poor instinctual skill, or a lack of communication with yourself.

    So, congrats! You’re lacking.

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    • Ellenna
      4 years ago

      I don't think it's anything to do with low intelligence or poor instinctual skill (whatever that is, please explain), just extreme detachment to the point of lacking empathy or compassion or in some cases extreme self-centredness.

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      • KholatKhult
        4 years ago

        When a human comes across another human that’s injured, sick, or dead, they should feel a fear instinct. That fear instinct is detrimental to survival, it teaches humans that danger should be feared and responded to seriously.

        What makes us smart is we can get past that fear instinct quickly and logically respond. My border commander always taught us to flex up when we came across dead bodies, even though it was common, to keep our responses in the right place.

        I hope I’m using my terms the way I mean them, my English isn’t perfect.

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        • Ellenna
          4 years ago

          Your English is fine, except I don't know what you mean by flexing up, and thanks for the clarification, it makes sense to me.

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