Is normally hard to make new friends after college?

95% Normal
7 Comments

I finally found a job after graduating school, but its in a different state. I have plenty of friends from home and college, but they are far away, or boring, or still blacking out and waking up in a bush behind a bar, or all of the above. I'm a busy dude during the week too. How do you make friends in a big city all by yourself? Is it normally this hard?

Voting Results
95% Normal
Based on 59 votes (56 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Thatguy777
    13 years ago

    I can't wait to grow up and lose all my friends! >_<

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  • Crudhouse
    12 years ago

    Very VERY difficult. Thank god for facebook. Hunted down all of my college buddies a couple of years ago. Please stop allowing themselves to be emotionally attached after like 25 unless it's a rare occasion

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  • scotty4444
    13 years ago

    One of the biggest challenges is having confidence in yourself, if you do, then no matter what, people will respect you and find you interesting because of that alone. The next step is to find out what you like doing, what YOUR interests are, and then persue them. You will quickly find that there many others who will share you interest. Common ground is the key in forming new relationships with any one, because then you will at the very least have that to discuss with one another. Remember, if you all you have in common with someone is that you get drunk together, then it will be hard to interact with them outside of a bar.

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  • fractallis
    13 years ago

    I wish I could give you some good advice but I don't really have any (I am on this website because I was wondering if it was normal to have difficulty making friends after transferring colleges!) Your problem is 100% normal and is something a lot of people end up facing at some point or another. This is why I never want to move again.

    I guess I could suggest that anything you join (church, some kind of group, whatever) be something that you would be happy continuing even if you didn't meet anyone. I've found that I give up easily when I'm not making friends because I only joined to meet people, and even in groups it takes a while to get to know one another.

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  • Black21
    13 years ago

    It can be quite difficult to make new friends after school, more so if you tend to be a timid and introverted person. Not only the above characteristics make it harder, but living in a major city as well. Also consider the fact that true friends are hard to come by. Most are just acquaintances that eventually show you their true colors.

    Go to bars, book stores etc, and just try to strike up some conversations. Although depending on what city you live that may not be such a good idea. Major city people are usually the loneliest, which is ironic considering the fact that millions of people live in that one single place. Many factors contribute to this city attitude. Crime, overpopulation, busy lifestyle, fast pace, etc.
    Best of luck, you're gonna need it. I myself have been friendless for a long time.

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  • dappled
    13 years ago

    I find it difficult too. I suspect most people do. I think you have to talk to people you wouldn't normally talk to, and out of the web of people you find yourself consorting with, some of them (or some of their friends) will align themself with you and, all of a sudden, you'll realise that you have new friends.

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  • Gfrigo
    13 years ago

    It's always hard making new friends when your the new guy in town. Try going out to local bars and making friends with the regulars.

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