Is my scenario with relationships a common one?

So I’m an 18 year old woman, and I’m really really stressing out. When I was 11-16, I was always made uncomfortable by my dad. He always used to do things to me that were borderline sexual. That included him hugging me very tight, never releasing me, and making a sure point to rub his.. junk.. up against me. He'd always try kissing me straight up on my lips and got mad when I would turn my head away, and he’d just stay with his face uncomfortably close to me until I’d turn my face back towards him. I never turned back towards him though, so he’d just get angry and storm away complaining about how “nobody respects him in this house”. There were alot of cases like that, but the one case that stood out and that I can never shake out of my head is this. I was watching a movie with him when my mom and sister were out of town, and he was giving me a simple back scratch, but a few minutes in, he pulled me to lay my head on his lap, and the back scratch turned into him rubbing my stomach really slowly. He eventually started rubbing dangerously close to uhh.. down there. Like his fingers were touching my underwear now. I got super uncomfortable and went to the bathroom, and not even 2 minutes later, I hear him knocking at the door saying “what’re you doing?” Like I’m in the dang bathroom, what do you think I’m doing? I know he had a glass of beer that night too, so that didn’t help the situation at all. Now onto the story with my cousin. My cousin’s significantly older than me by about 15 years. When I was about 7, he always used to hold me down for hours and not let me up. I’d literally cry my eyes out the whole time and he’d still keep me locked down as he very subtly positioned himself in a way that almost could've been concidered sexual. He also always talked to me about sex, and his sexual partners. When I was about 11. 11, PEOPLE! He was 26. Right around that same time, we were hanging out as a family, and I was just tackling him as a joke, and he reached his hand behind my back and unclipped my bra.. He finally found a girlfriend whos kept him busy, but he had a break with her for a little bit, and during that break time, he started being inappropriate again. Rubbing my feet without permission, awkward thigh touching, and so on. He got back together with his girlfriend, and now he’s back to just being a normal nice cousin. Anywho, I had to give you some backstory for this next part.

Because of all that stuff I went through, it’s been impossible for me to be in relationships, so I’ve never been in one. Everytime a guy touches me anywhere, i get all anxious and all I can think of is what my dad and cousin put me through. I went to meet a guy i rlly rlly liked, and halfway through the day, I had a panic attack because of that situation. I had to tell him I wasn’t ready for a relationship, and he was sad, but we talked through it. He understands my situation, and he didn’t ditch me over it. We went on a 2nd date today, and made it official. Kissed, and he asked me to date him. I like him soooo much, but I’m still so anxious around him. Because of my past, I never fail to be very very anxious around men. I really hope I can go through with this relationship for once. I didn’t ask for all that to happen to me. I didn’t. I’ve been suicidal over this, and the fact that it’s ruining relationships for me doesn’t help. God, I hate my life very much.