Is my freind right about me being immature?

14% Normal
10 Comments

So I have a freind who has a car and I don't. They periodically give me rides and I give them access to my internet, and cable and let them chill at my house. Recently they asked me for a large sum of 1100 to move into a place. They said they were waiting on their bank check to clear and needed me to front the money. I recently found housing on my own after moving to this new city and depleated most of my savings. I moved citys after I got fired for taking a sick day by my previous job. So just rebuilt 1200 dollars in savings. They said that I worry too much about money and can afford to give them my entire savings since they need the money more than I do. They claimed to pay me back whenever the check cleared. I told them I couldn't and they stated I needed therapy because I am immature and the fact I want a savings plan in case something bad happens like I lose a job or housings again thanks to the pandemic is paranoid and that I am simply traumatized and dellusional. They also said I was dumb for staying out all night even though I live downtown in a very rich college town with very low crime rate. They stated me carrying knives is not valid protection and stated I should be afraid of everyone and everything because Im very small and skronny. They also said i was dumb for spending a couple of dollars every now and than at the bar because if I needed savings that badly I wouldn't be drinking. But realistically I am very good at budgeting and I spend maybe 40 - 80 a week at the bar. Its not taking out a large sum of 1000$. They said they will remember what an asshole I was and that there are people who are being effected way worse by the pandemic and that I was morally obligated to help all these people by not having a savings

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14% Normal
Based on 7 votes (1 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • ellnell
    2 years ago | pl

    Your friend sounds like a leech.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      So am I not an asshole?

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  • Boojum
    2 years ago

    If I've got this right, your 'friend' is in need of money because he's made a commitment to give someone else some money, but he doesn't actually have that money right now. You, on the other hand, have bounced back after getting shat upon, are living within your means and you've been able to put some money by for a rainy day. And he believes this proves that you are immature, delusional and worry too much about money.

    Riiight... 🙄

    One important rule to live by is to never loan money to friends. If you want to give them a donation to help out and you can afford to do so, that's fine. But loans to friends are a minefield in many ways. They can cause resentment in the beneficiary that bubbles away under the surface. They tend to be considered the debt with the lowest priority, so they're often paid later than agreed or never at all. They create stress for the lender, because they feel bad about asking for the loan to be repaid.

    And, frankly, your 'friend' sounds like exactly the sort of person who would be very good at piling guilt on you and coming up with all sorts of totally BS excuses for not paying back the loan if you were to ask him to return the money.

    As for the other things you mention, I have no idea how valid they are. Maybe his concern about you going out alone at night is reasonable. I certainly do agree that you shouldn't be carrying a knife. Unless you've had practical training in knife fighting techniques and you're mentally prepared to actually kill someone, the most likely result of you carrying a knife is that someone bigger and tougher and much nastier than you will take it away from you and use it on you. Carrying a knife also can give you a false sense of security, and lead you to go into places and situations that you'd consider too risky if you weren't armed.

    And, of course, there are lots of places where carrying some types of knives is against the law.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      I have martial arts training and I not sure if this would class me as a sociopath but have stabbed people in deffense before. I also been trained in how to disarm a person with a weapon such as a knife or gun as well. course it was not fatal when I have stabbed people as it was usually something blunt objects but I have no issues protecting myself. Being small means people believe they have a right to take advantage of you. I have no qualms putting them in their place for doing so. Why I believe states with a shoot intruder rule are pretty smart. If you decide to harm someone and they correct your behavior I do not believe you have a right to complain about the well deserved Karma. Besides the fact I look small and harmless means if I went to court for it of course no one is gonna convict me. As I just have to play the emotional appeal card. No court is going to convict me. Its the same reason they let female killers off and judges tell clients to wear glasses. Your perceived harmlessness can end any case taken to court. On the other hand if I am forced to stab them I can sue for emotional stress they cuased me in making me so stressed I had to stab them. So its not as though I don't know how to play the system.

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  • Cuntsiclestick
    2 years ago

    You don't owe your friend anything. Keep your savings. That's your money and no one else is entitled to it.

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  • jethro
    2 years ago

    Tell him to sign his check over to you. Give him the 1100 cash and then deposit his check. When the check clears, which is never more than 3 days, give him back the difference from the check and the 1100 you loaned him.
    If he refuses, then it was all a scam anyway and you won't look like a wienie.

    Besides, knowingly passing a bad check is fraud and also a felony. So he can go to jail for a few years if he stiffs you.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      He already figured it out on his own. Also its unemployment so I don't think he could have signed over the check.

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      • jethro
        2 years ago

        you can sign over any check from anybody to anybody as long as it is originally made out to you.

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  • SkullsNRoses
    2 years ago

    I accidentally voted normal, this is NOT normal. Not unnecessarily depleting your savings and all that you have worked for is sensible, especially in these times. Your “friend” sounds incredibly entitled and honestly not like a friend at all.

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  • RoseIsabella
    2 years ago

    I wouldn't trust this person anymore if I were you.

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