Is my boyfriend gay or just frightened to have sex with me?

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Hi... I have a boyfriend that is 20 years old.. I'm about 2 years older than him.
here's the thing me and him are 4 months with each other, till now we done it only once. all the other times after that he couldn't get up nor get the urge to be horny nor the urge to desire me.. just plain nothing..
For me this is the first time I see a guy that can;t get up or doesn't want although he says he does.. he said it never happened to him. but he only slept with two girls in his life.. me and an old ex.. but that was like long time ago.. when he was 16 i guess.. then never again, untill now.. I got no idea what to do.. I tried everything to get him fired up... it doesn't go.. he says it's fixed but he's waiting for the right moment... what moment will that be, I just don't know.. we didn't do it for about 2 months.. and I'm going crazy.. I'm used to getting it on almost all the time when can...
now is he gay or just frightened to have sex again with me?

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Comments ( 4 )
  • dappled
    13 years ago

    Sometimes it's difficult to answer questions such as this with very little information to go on, but you did give much better information than most people do. One thing I picked up on is his sexual history. An ex four years ago and you. We don't know about the relationship with the ex but we know that he's had sex with you two months into the relationship and then, another two months later, hasn't repeated the act. It's that, in particular, that seems really strange to me.

    I'm trying to work out whether it's medical, psychological, or something else. And I really don't know. What I will say is that men can be intensely proud and when you couple that with the anxiety to perform, it's a lot of pressure. I'm not sure that's what is going on in his case, though. My ex tried to lose her virginity at 16 to a man who couldn't get hard because of the medication he was on. I'm not sure that's the case here, either.

    The truth of the matter is that there is only one person who can answer this, and I'm not sure he ever will. To echo Matchbook's comment, if you're going to try and discuss this, be sensitive.

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  • aduusw
    13 years ago

    He is just nervous that's all... Be patient and dont critizicze him

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Consider the possibility he might also be asexual. (Wikipedia - Asexual).

    From Wikipedia:
    "Asexuality (also known as nonsexuality[1]), in its broadest sense, is the lack of sexual attraction[2][3] or the lack of interest in and desire for sex.[4] Sometimes, it is considered a lack of a sexual orientation.[5] One commonly cited study placed the incidence rate of asexuality at 1%.[6]"

    In all cases, just discuss it with him. Gently. ♥

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Well personally I think 4 months is a little soon to have sex but that's just me.

    As for why he's not wanting to do it, maybe he is waiting for the right moment. Just as guys who come on too strong is off-putting to girls, girls who are too forward can put off some guys.

    Just enjoy being together and the sex will happen when it does. It'll also be much more meaningful that way imo.

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