Is it wrong to be jealous of my boyfriend's mother?

Okay, so my name is Moira, I'll keep it simple to that. I have been dealing with a lot of issues with my boyfriend's family, but prime problems involve his mother. When him and I first met, it was just us and another one of my friends, who is much older than the both of us and way more experienced, "I ask him a lot of relationship advice!" Anyways...

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a total of three years. Over time he started to act quite off, not in a bad way. His mother used to be quite abusive and rude to her son even before he moved back to them in 2014. His mother used to be an alcoholic and had lots of unprotected sex with hundreds of men. My boyfriend's sisters are all from different blood. She made him raise her children while she screwed guys or went out to a bar in his younger years. In the beginning of the 2015 year, right after her wedding, she finally showed her true colors towards our relationship, I could tell she already did not like me. She sent my boyfriend to a facility for anxiety and suicide because he said he would kill himself if she took him away from me. I can understand why she sent him, but the things she sent me were terrible. I had sent her messages asking if he was ok, and if she knew when he would come back. I even sent the family chocolates and gifts for him being in an inpatient facility. She replied with you are nothing to this family and you will never get to see my son again. You have brainwashed him into being a suicidal freak, something this Christian family will not have. She also said other things, but it has been a year. I remember being called a slut and an atheist by her and his grandmother.

Over time he eventually was brought back to me. His mother apologized to me, but continued to treat me like I didn't exist. His grandparents and his cousins accused me of being a slut and rapist. They also told me that I raped her son in their grandparents house on the day of his mother's wedding... She believed this of course. I told myself I would never forgive them because of what they have done and are still doing. I wish I could type everything, but there is so much...

In the summer of 2016, he forgave his mother in front of me as she hugged him so tightly while I stood uncomfortably. She tells me she loves me and barely does anything in return for what my family and myself have done for her. We have given her son, her, and her daughters gifts and money for their birthdays, but when it came to my birthday... She wouldn't let him see me at all; my birthday is in September so this has happened twice to me. She has been much nicer to me for my boyfriend, but even when we all together she eyes me like I am not good enough even though she is married and makes her poor husband work two jobs for her. I would never do that... She got fired on purpose to send her son to a facility!! WHO DOES THAT!!? If I lost my job I'd work at Wal-Mart, ANYTHING for my husband...

Look, I just want to know if these feelings are wrong... Him and I got into an argument yesterday about how he seems so happy with his mother and acts like I'm not there... I just feel that she doesn't deserve to be forgiven until she truly repays my heart and my family. He got mad and defended her and I yelled at him, I felt bad. I love him so damn much, but I just don't know if I can handle his mom's authority for another year and a half. I hate that she has his attention and forgiveness for everything she has done. Am I wrong for this? Please help...

Voting Results
69% Normal
Based on 16 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • fluffy1uv

    You seem to have totally normal feelings regarding this

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  • rabbit-tongue

    Yep. Normal. Your boyfriend is a victim and that's normal.

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  • dshaiuvdshzivz

    I ain't reading all that, but I do appreciate that you had line breaks in there.

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    • rabbit-tongue

      wow, you're so useless you type how useless you are

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  • Tealights

    Your boyfriend is caught in the cycle of abuse with his emotionally abusive mother. Right now, they're in the apologetic stage where the abuser says sorry, and regains the victim's trust.

    There isn't much you can do. He's deeply in denial, hoping she'll become the mother he always wanted. You can stay by his side and support him, but it's up to him to realize the kind of person his mother truly is and accept her as the monster she is, then move on; sadly, that could take months or years.

    In this situation, think about yourself and your emotional wellbeing. Currently the whole family is against you and your boyfriend is defending his mother, even though she has been nothing but horrible to you. So I ask you, what is your limit? Loving someone is nice, but don't you deserve a partner who loves you just as much, and will respectfully stand up to anyone (even their parents) when they have done you wrong?

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