Is it shallow to refuse to date anyone who has hiv?
Is it normal to think this way?
| Yes, it's shallow | 6 | |
| No, it's not shallow | 76 | |
| Other (Add a comment) | 2 |
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[
Report Post
]
Comments ( 23
)
-
Noodleflower
No not at all!!! I wouldn't date anyone with AIDS or HIVS because it's a bad idea and if you catch it it's the worst slowest painful death....because you really never KNOW when they or you will pass away its horrible (read it happened to nacey)
Comment Hidden ( show ) -
Eternal_Wisdom
health is infinately more important to me then risking getting a permanent illness. can you guarantee that person is worth that risk? you could break up for whatever reason & be stuck with HIV.
not worth it.
Comment Hidden ( show ) -
CheyChey
It's not shallow at all because HIV is a serious thing and the use of condoms isn't 100% safe, one might want to think of the fact of not being able to have children & just the risk of getting infected & if you do (there's a chance one could) you might end up resenting that person & then what. we could try to say it's shallow & be moral warriors but it's play russian roulette with your life. i wouldn't date someone with HIV
Comment Hidden ( show ) -
DudeUrFuglyXox
-
-
-
-
Anonymous Post Author
Hi, I asked this question out of curiosity to see what other users' opinions on this subject were.
Personally for me, I don't see it as shallow. It would be shallow if this was concerning making new friends or making contact with people but in terms of dating and relationships, I don't think it's shallow.
I mean yes, if you love someone and vice-versa you can overlook a lot of things, but your health and well-being is something that is really hard to turn the other cheek with. I'm not saying that if you we're to date someone with HIV that you're guaranteed to get it, but you can't deny that the risk is there and real.
Intimacy plays an important role in a relationship. I want to be able to hold, touch, kiss, and make love to someone. What kind of a relationship would that be if I feared making contact with the one person who I have the most faith in?
Shallow or not, I think it's justified for people to refuse to date someone with HIV.
Comment Hidden ( show )-
-
-
DolphinAngel
Yeah the thing with health... I don't really care about my health anyway so I wouldn't care about the risk getting HIV because it's not that high if you use condoms etc.
I just think if you love someone you can live with those diseases!
Comment Hidden ( show )-
-
-
Eternal_Wisdom
-
-
-
DolphinAngel
Love may go away but that's rather a reason not to date or have a partner at all...
Comment Hidden ( show )-
-
-
Eternal_Wisdom
i'd just rather a partner without HIV. i've been in love before. looking back im sure it wouldn't have been worth me still having the virus to this day because i once loved someone.
Comment Hidden ( show ) -
Anonymous Post Author
" Love may go away but that's rather a reason not to date or have a partner at all... "
It's like saying, " If there's a chance that something might not work, then don't do it/have faith in it ". Does that mean you should stop loving Dolphins because they're destined to die at some point with every other being on Earth? Does that mean you shouldn't brush your teeth because they'll just get plaque on them again? This kind of logic doesn't make sense.
You can't compare the effects of love to HIV. If a person isn't right for you then that means it wasn't meant to be and therefore you can date someone else who might be better suited to you and leave that experience behind. HIV on the other hand, stays with you permanently.
You can get over a relationship and leave it behind you, but when you have HIV you have to embrace it regardless of whether or not you like it.
Comment Hidden ( show )
-
-
-
-
-
-
anti-hero
Sorry to be mean but HIV people should only date each other and not breed, in hopes of not spreading it any more.
Comment Hidden ( show ) -
Avant-Garde
Its not shallow if you don't want the possibility of getting a life threatening disease.
Comment Hidden ( show ) -
Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
No it's not shallow.
First and foremost I know that casual contact isn't going to transfer HIV. but... if you're dating you're likely to be going beyond casual contact.
and that where things will get sticky. just how far is your partner expecting you to go. will there be a problem or a fight if you establish limits?
do what you want but... i recommend not putting your life at risk just to spare someone else's ego
Comment Hidden ( show )-
-
-
Anonymous Post Author
You always give good advice :)
I didn't ask this question for my personal benefit, just curious how other users view this subject.
I really don't think it's shallow either. What kind of a relationship would that be if I feared making contact with the one person I have the most faith in? It's not a real relationship if I can't hold, touch, kiss, and make contact with someone comfortably that I care about.
Personally for me, one of the biggest reasons why I refuse to date anyone with HIV is because I'm trying to reenlist in the Army. You mentioned you we're in the Navy and you're obviously aware that any service members with HIV are barred from enlistment and/or continued enlistment. I don't want to risk that.
Comment Hidden ( show )-
-
-
Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
as i said - casual contact won't get you infected.
kissing shouldn't either, although with fluid transfers you do have more risk.
As for the Navy - that's actually incorrect. At least on paper.
<a href="http://www.nmcphc.med.navy.mil/downloads/sexual_health/hivpolicy.pdf" rel="nofollow">http://www.nmcphc.med.navy.mil/downloads/sexual...</a>As of Feb 2012 they do not specifically kick you out for being infected. Look for the phrase "Retention, Assignments and Separation" in the article if you want full details.
The "cliff notes" version is that... If you're fit for duty (and not in full blown AIDS) you can be assigned duty where you will have access to medical services. Keep in mind your job cannot be one that puts others at risk.
And if you do have AIDS you'll be considered for Disability status.
Comment Hidden ( show )
-
-
-
[Old Memory]
-
blablablah221
Think about the people you're alienating here, though. If everyone in the world thought like you, you'd be condemning almost 2 million to loveless lives (unless, of course, they dated each other) and that just sounds really sad. I think, as long as you take the utmost care and proper precautions, why not? I don't agree with DolphinAngel, I do think you should take care of your health, I just don't think it should be an obstacle in the way of what potentially could be a normal, fulfilling relationship. As for intimacy, well, double bag it, lol. :D I'm sure everything's possible.
Comment Hidden ( show ) -
DolphinAngel
I think it's shallow not to date someone because he/she has HIV...
The chance of getting HIV isn't that high!
And if I really loved her I wouldn't even care getting HIV... but I'm repeating myself
However, I think I'll never date a girl with HIV or even date a girl anyway because it's not worth the effort and I prefer animals!
Comment Hidden ( show )