Is it reasonable to dislike your bestfriend who's unreliable?

8 Comments

I never hesitated to help my bestfriend. Whenever he needed my help, whether it's money problems, advice, emotional/spiritual support, filling out forms/paperwork, moving things, etc, I've always helped him. The problem is when I ask him for help, 95% of the time he would either ignore it, avoid me, or say he'll help but he doesn't do it.

I don't ask him to help me with things that are too difficult, it's mostly physical things, like moving furniture, picking me up from work when my car is in the shop, and etc. Having unreliable friends, especially since this is my bestfriend, really bothers me, and it's gotten to the point where the very sight of this person puts me in a bad mood.

I'm not saying that a person has to help me as much as I've help them, but my reasoning is...if I've been a good friend and if I never hesitated to help you, isn't it fair that I get a little help every once in a while if you have the power to do it?

Is it reasonable to feel this way about a friend?

It's understandable that you feel this way about your Bestfriend. 36
Get rid of these feelings of dislike, and set him straight. 9
I'd avoid him, and wouldn't bother asking him for help anymore. 21
Maybe he's going through alot, be understanding. 3
Other (Add a comment) 1
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Comments ( 8 )
  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    One of my friends just told me, "Pick between me or Christina," so I chose Chrissy because you cant have a friend who only thinks of themselves, now i am a female, so maybe i have a different point of view but you need to talk to him about this.

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  • DcMithra
    13 years ago

    Exactly like that for my bestfriend! Yesterday i actually broke up with her because theres no point having a best friend that isnt a real best friend and it is hard but shes not the only person in the world

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  • bronte_91
    13 years ago

    I think you should just be upfront with him; not in an aggressive way but just by being assertive. Say that you completely understand that he is probably busy and has a number of different priorities in his life at the moment but you would really appreciate if he could return the favor once in a while. Explain that you don't want the friendship to just be a one way street. Hopefully he will be understanding! If not, it might be time to move on :( Good luck!

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  • regressiveparty
    13 years ago

    your friend has a different viewpoint on the requirements and expectations of friendship, that is all. You can't hold that against him.

    He probably hates the feeling of being "on call" constantly for menial favors. I bet if you were to ask him he would say that he would rather you not do him any favors then that he is now required to match your altruism.

    To each his own - don't make assumptions if you dont even understand the breadth of the different relationship paradigms he could potential subscribe to.

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  • Aleks85
    12 years ago

    I had a good friend for years that was always unreliable. Some people just are that way I guess. It was very irritating at the time. I moved away so we don't really speak anymore. Other than his unreliability he was a great friend and a caring friend.

    No one is perfect.

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  • imacomputer
    13 years ago

    I went through the same thing at least 2 or 3 times with other "best friends" of mine. I personally abide by the "two-way street" theory. Your "friend" sounds selfish to me but......regressiveparty (71463) made a great point too. This is tough. I say ditch 'em.

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  • enginelugger
    13 years ago

    You have to do either two things.

    1. Either you talk to him about this but nicely so you can get it off your chest, plus it'll give you a chance to see what he has to say..

    2. Or you're going to have to shake the dust off your feet and move on by not helping, and/or bothering with him as much.

    I know it's all easier said than done, but having the stress of it all isn't easy neither. You have to make a decision!

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  • wigsplitz
    13 years ago

    You can figure this out. If he only "works" when a reward is offered, then he's a selfish P.O.S.

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