Is it normal when people just pretend something (bad) didn't happen?

55% Normal
6 Comments

So, I think it is better just to give examples of this situation I have noticed in almost all people.

When I was little, my parents used to be abusive and unpredictable with each other, me and my siblings. There used to be these big fights, which usually ended with insults, death threats, tears and bruises. However, after one day, we would just go and have lunch like if nothing happened. We would be laughing and acting like the perfect family. Sometimes I would even talk to someone in my family about this, and they would indeed act as if we never had fights at all. It is as if people had amnesia.

Another example, my 2 best friends were married, but went through a lot of drama because one discovered the other one cheating. After one year of fights, friends taking sides, facebook attacks, stalking and even divorce papers being written, they finally decided to get together again. Now all of us hang around together again... as if that year never happened. The people who took sides and even stopped talking to one or the other are now their best friends again.

Third and final example. One of my friends tried to kill himself once, but no one ever spoke about this issue with him. People just faded away from him for a time, mostly when he was at the hospital, to then magically reappear as if he just went on a trip or something. Again, we are all best friends now, and we just pretend that any of this ever happened.

So... anyway... truly, I am just wondering if any of this is normal. I just don't understand how people can be so comfortable pretending to be deluded. Lately I have been having this urge to just shake this people up and force them to face reality... But I just don't know if it is the right thing.

So, is it normal?

Voting Results
55% Normal
Based on 55 votes (30 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Freedom_
    10 years ago

    Why do you want everyone to hold onto their negative feelings? Sometimes it's best to just let things go... it's called bouncing back into routine and, in the case of your second example, it is a good thing. It is good that all of your friends got over their grudges.

    As for your first example, family fighting, it is good to bounce back *after* resolving issues. If you're saying you and your siblings were abused then that should definitely be addressed and dealt with before (or at) the picnic, but otherwise it's relatively normal for families to argue and get over it.

    And for your third example, I hope your friend learned who his real friends were. No one should be abandoned at a time like that, but I personally don't like to bring up my friends' traumatic experiences. I might ask them how they're doing and they what I'm talking about. If they need to talk about it they will, but I don't like to remind people how horrible their life was at that one point in time. They might not be emotionally ready to talk about it openly and I feel like it could cause a relapse, so I try to be very careful about such sensitive subjects. Some of your friends may have kept their distance, fearing they would cause more harm than good or just not knowing how to handle the situation as it's a difficult one.

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  • kelili
    10 years ago

    This is the way things goes. I have some examples too and I have always considered these as completely normal.

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  • Riddler
    10 years ago

    That sounds like my parents. However they both seems less volatile after they broke up for the final time after my 18th birthday. People forgive and forget. No point on dwelling on the past. However its hard to care about a parent when they disown you. Like my dad did.. Now I have very little to live for. Most everything I care about was taken from me.

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    • halfemptyhalffull
      10 years ago

      You have everything to live for....YOURSELF
      Accept that your parent(s) is just a person.....flawed like the rest of us.

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  • jeebley
    10 years ago

    I think I know where you're coming from. A lot of things just get glossed over and ignored and it seems like they really should be addressed and spoken about.

    Sure, not all things are like this. Sometimes it's best to leave it behind.
    But other times, it's definitely like "Won't someone just put that fucking elephant out of it's misery". It's difficult to do, which is why I think people avoid it.

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    DENIAL.

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