Is it normal when paying is 50/50 and disposable income is not?

22% Normal
5 Comments

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for about 4 years and we live together. He outright owns the house we live in (no mortgage), and still has about 60,000 sitting in the bank. I, however, have 10,000 in student loan debt I'm still slowly paying off, and sometimes stuggle to pay him my half of the bills (heat, electric, taxes on the house), because my income is smaller than his. He expects us to split the bill 50/50 when we go out to eat, or go on vacation. He even goes with me to an eatery when I'm hungry and he's not, then eats my leftovers and doesn't offer to pay any of the bill or tip. I know he's cheap, and this isn't exactly normal, but what is normal? I don't want to be a "gold digger", but on the other hand, I feel like I'm being used. I just want to be taken out once and a while, it's not like he can't afford it.

Voting Results
22% Normal
Based on 63 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • dappled
    13 years ago

    A friend of mine divvies up the bills based on pro rata income. His takehome pay was twice his girlfriends, so he paid two thirds of the bills and let her pay a third.

    Personally, I think it's easier to just go for the joint account, get both wages paid in, pay all the bills out of the account, both take your day-to-day personal expenses out of the account, and only really consult on bigger purchases. I can't imagine being with someone for four years and still thinking of "my" salary as opposed to "our" combined salaries.

    In his position, I'd also pay off your student loan, because it's better for both of you to have it cleared.

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  • pain123
    13 years ago

    I agree with randomjelly he's not your bf he's your roommate

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  • WonderGuy0103
    9 years ago

    If he's just your boyfriend, then I can see why he's doing that. personally I wouldn't put up with it. Not saying he should pay for everything, but he could be a bit more generous. 66/33 (yea I know that's not 100)

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  • randomjelly
    13 years ago

    ^ exactly. You live together and should have a life customized to this situation. It sounds more like a roommate situation than a relationship.

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  • buckman
    13 years ago

    He's your boyfriend, not your husband. His money is his money and your debt is your debt. You're living in the house so you need to pay half of the bills and groceries. But, when you go out I don't think he should be making you pay (unless you go out everyday or something.)

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