Is it normal wanting to be of the opposite sex?

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2 Comments

Hello
I'm a 21 year old male who is in doubt of his own sexuality. As the title says, i wish i was of the opposite sex.
Since the age of 14 or something around it, i have been noticing more closely the differences in the way of thinking, acting and socially behaving between men and women. Even though truely i belive in equality between genders, there is no way to deny that there is a huge difference in the role filled by men and the role filled by women in society, please don't get it wrong, i don't refer to meaningless things like who prepares dinner, for example. Like i said, i don't see that as something that would be affected by your sex or sexuality... What i'm talking about is the way men and women behave in a friendly relationship, on a love relationship or society as a whole.
What has been a problem for me for a really long time, is that because of my personality, my way of acting, thinking and behaving with others. I feel as i am MUCH, MUCH more "geared" towards filling the role that is normally expected from a woman then a men.
I can't say i feel atracted to other men. The case is not about wanting to be a woman to have a chance with them, the case is simply that i don't identify myself and my personality with the one expected from my gender. I feel like, if i was a girl i would have the chance to be my real self, instead of having to hide behind a mask and trying to act like something that is not me in order to not be segregated.
I'm a very affectionate person, i like giving love to people around me, i like making people feel loved and happy, sometimes i feel that if i was a girl and if i could let my real self emerge, i would be seen as a really sweet, gentle and lovable one... problem is that this is not the case and if i was to let that "real self" emerge, that would not be very socially welcomed or accepted and i would end up hurt and sad.
I seriously don't know what to do about this anymore, i have been hating my life for quite some time, i have cried a lot because of not seeing myself as what i sadly am... i have prayed and wished and cried again, even dreamed about this a lot of times and now i'm typing this at 4AM on a sunday, hoping for a word or two from someone who can help me. I am desperate.
Please excuse me on any serious english mistakes though, it is not my main language. Thanks

Voting Results
80% Normal
Based on 5 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 2 )
  • Scarecr0w
    12 years ago

    I think I know what you're talking about. Everyone pretends they don't exist, but there are still gender based roles in society. Most women do cook. Most men don't cry in public. Shit like that.

    People love stereotypes, because it gives them something to be familiar and comfortable with. So when they meet someone who isn't a stereotype, like a man who loves to cuddle or a female bodybuilder, the small minded will react poorly.

    I'm sorry, but I don't really have much advice besides that you try to make lots of friends with girls. Even if you act somewhat girly, they're girly all the time and it shouldn't seem super weird to them. That's just a guess on my part, though.

    And I just noticed you wrote this almost a year ago. Damn. Well, I hope someone finds this comforting, at least.

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  • Pathogen
    13 years ago

    i think its perfectly normal,

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