Is it normal wanting an open relationship?

45% Normal
10 Comments

This is a gay relationship of 4 months. My boyfriend loves me a lot, he is extremely nice, never did anything bad to me and always tries to do nice stuff for me. We almost never have arguments, and never about anything serious.

However, I am 25, and this is my first relationship; I am just starting to live my life. We are fine, and the relationship is going great, but I dont feel like "this is it"... yet, I dont want us to break apart, since I do love him a lot.

I was thinking the best option would be to ask him to have an open relationship... that way I can protect this relationship, and at the same time see if there is someone else for me.

So... opinions?

Voting Results
45% Normal
Based on 33 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • howaminotmyself
    13 years ago

    The "open-relationship" works both ways. How would you feel if your partner started dating someone else?

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  • gregg
    13 years ago

    get real!

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  • TootsieVanGo
    13 years ago

    People who want open relationships are just cheaters to be because they will always be looking for something supposedly better than they already have.

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  • andrian007
    12 years ago

    The fact that you are thinking like this shows that you're not ready for a long-term commitment. You still want to explore and try new things. You're just trying to have the best of both worlds which I don't think is going to work. Your bf will know immediately what you're thinking and you will be chucked.

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  • mumbum
    13 years ago

    Very normal!! I say go for it if you can.. BUT... What if he doesn't want this? Or if he then later gets jealous? What if you get jealous of him? It could get complex so go slowly with heaps of communication...

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  • DestroyedSepulchre
    13 years ago

    You better watch incase you insult your partner, by suggesting this to them. As it might make them feel worthless. If someone suggested it to me, I would be scarpering! As they clearly would not be worth wasting my time and energy on!

    If you are waiting for something better to come along or whatever, thats not really fair... I think singledom would be better, that way you can enjoy yourself til your heart is content.

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  • DefinitelyNotNormal89
    13 years ago

    I completely understand where you are coming from but I don't think an open relationship is a good idea. When I was in my first relationship the idea of being with one man forever scared me, I was young and I wanted to explore a little before I settled down. And now I've done that I'm quite happy to find someone to settle down with...maybe next year lol.
    Anyway you should think about what howaminotmyself said- I am not a jealous person but that would definitely make me jealous.
    Maybe you're just not ready for this relationship? You only live once, you shouldn't have any regrets and if this is your one and only guy you've been with and you're having thoughts like this this early it could turn into a regret.
    It's okay to have some fun just don't be wreckless with his heart, hope this helps!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      13 years ago

      Yes, I do know he would be free to get someone else too, the thought doesnt bother me, I am not that selfish to let this be one-sided.

      The only thing that troubles my mind is that if I had met him after I had more experience, it would be enough. The problem is that I had never opened myself to anyone else before, and I thought I was fine like that, but now that I finally experienced this, I feel like I should enjoy more of it instead of settling down. I kind of hate myself for thinking like this, since I always spoke ill of people that said stuff like this.

      I feel like he doesnt deserve this treatment... it is unfair.

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      • DefinitelyNotNormal89
        13 years ago

        You have no reason to hate yourself for this what-so-ever, I know so many people who feel the same! I felt like that, I wish we had met him a couple of years down the line but I suppose some things aren't meant to be.
        And unfortunately I agree, it's a shame for him and you're obviously having a great experience for a first relationship.
        When I was in this situation I tried to stick it out, I thought maybe I'd grow out of it with age but nothing changed. When I finally did end the relationship I felt as though a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I feld kinda free? It was a good decision for me but I can't really comment on your situation as everybody is different.
        If you feel you can you should explain to him how you feel, just go with the flow and if things still don't feel right for you just bite the bullet. It may hurt him but it's not the end of the world, at least he knows how you feel (you wont be just dragging him along) and he will get over it.
        Life can be hard sometimes, I hope you can work it out =)

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  • wreckd
    13 years ago

    Since this is your first relationship, I would say it's normal to want to explore. Be very careful about asking him this. Maybe hint around to it first. Possibly joke about a 3-some and if he doesn't seem too harsh on the subject, ask him if it's something he would feel comfortable doing. I wish you the best of luck in your relationship!

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