Is it normal to worry my long distance boyfriend might cheat?

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19 Comments

My ex-fiance who I was with long term, left me unexpectedly for another woman and the end result was a shattered heart. Then I met a man who was able to help me pick the pieces and put myself back together. I love him dearly and want to spent the rest of my life with him. But since he recently has moved half way acrossed the country, I always feel worried and panicked when he and his friends say they are going out drinking, and when he mentions girls he has become friends with. I know somewhat that its silly to think that he'd cheat, but I thought the same about my ex-fiance and we practically lived together. All I can think about is fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me... So my question, is it normal to worry that my amazing long distance boyfriend might cheat?

Voting Results
89% Normal
Based on 75 votes (67 yes)
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Comments ( 19 )
  • ThisIsNotAUsername
    12 years ago

    I was in a long distance relationship for just under a year when my boyfriend moved for Uni and I was still at college.

    It's completely normal to worry, and especially with what you've encountered!
    You say you trust him, and I believe you, it's just the mark your ex left on you. Not all guys are like that and over the next few weeks, months, years, you'll relearn that. It is hard to fully trust someone after someone you've been with for so long has let you down.
    I had the same problem.

    I wish you all the best, and I'm hopeful that it'll work out in your favour as it has for me.
    If it wasn't for the distance me and my boyfriend had encountered, we wouldn't be as strong as we are now. :)

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    • Its_Called_Love
      12 years ago

      Thank you so much. :D Your words are a real comfort.

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  • la_uva_mojada
    11 years ago

    don't put all your eggs in one basket, girl. Don't fall to pieces if one guy doesn't work out. There are plenty of fish in the sea... With that mindset you can stress out a bit less.

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    • Its_Called_Love
      11 years ago

      :) Its all good now, our anniversary is soon and we're living together.

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  • volozi
    12 years ago

    I think it's normal. If I were in a long distance relationship I would cheat.

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  • amc93
    12 years ago

    I also have a long distance relationship but we trust each other. We're both 18 but so far so good. You just have to realize that not all men are the same and trust him! :) Good Luck!

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  • chatter289
    12 years ago

    its perfectly normal for you to feel the way you are. As sad as it is, our ex's do leave a scar and their shit with us which we carry on to our next relationship.. once we become wary of something in the past or something that has hurt us, it's inevitable not to think what you are.

    At the end of the day, you know him better than anyone, so, the only person who might answer the question as to whether he MIGHT potentially cheat or has done so is you... you know his way, his character, his strengths and weaknesses...

    good luck xx

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  • -WhySoSerious-
    12 years ago

    which country do you live in? It might not be so far. I mean if you live in Russia, then that would suck because of the distance, but if you live in the Vatican, then that wouldn't be a great distance, and half-way across the country isn't so far either.

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    • Its_Called_Love
      12 years ago

      Canada, so its pretty far. We've only got to vacation with each other maybe 3-4 times.

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  • equanimity
    12 years ago

    Nomster's right, you should tell him how you've been burned in the past and now you worry that it will happen again.

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    • Its_Called_Love
      12 years ago

      He knows, I never keep anything from him. I just wish I wouldn't worry...

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  • chadams
    12 years ago

    Long distance relationships rarely work. Is it a temporary thing? Are there plans for one of you to move closer? If its an open ended term probably not going to work. If he is young probably not going to work. If he is a hottie and has women coming on to him a lot, probably not going to work. Sorry to be all doom and gloom but most long term relationships don't work. There are exceptions and you may live happily ever after but do you really want to put yourself in that position.

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  • Nomster!
    12 years ago

    ^ I have a deep hatred for you right now.

    Honestly, if you trust him and he dosent have any little things that shows he's cheating, he probably isent.

    I would talk to him about it, let him know how bad that it hurts. I have had this and it is alot better to talk about this with him.

    If he loves you as much as you love him, you should be the only girl he loves.

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    • volozi
      12 years ago

      For me? Why?

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      • Nomster!
        12 years ago

        Honestly, i dont remember..... Hmm, all is forgiven. I love you :D

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    • Its_Called_Love
      12 years ago

      I honestly love him, and I think I'm just not use to being so openly and legitimately loved. I hate myself for the paranoia I have. He's a good man who is willing to put up with my "crazy" and insecurities. So thank you, I'm lucky to have him, I shouldn't second guess him now. :)

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      • blades123
        12 years ago

        Yea he sounds like a very cool guy does his name start with a T :P

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        • Its_Called_Love
          12 years ago

          Really? Are we going to do this? Because I have plenty of dirt on you, just saying... I've known you since I was born. :P

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  • kyanviado
    12 years ago

    He probably has,

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