Is it normal to worry about motives of indian men

I am a 28 year old white woman in the US, I recently started working with a 27 year old Indian man from south india. did not come to the states until college. Several months after we met, a coworker told me that he liked me, I shyed away because we worked together and I am really uncomfortable with the thought of dating someone with such different cultural background because I know what kind of drama it brings mostly from the family. A few months later we end up talking at a company gathering and he kissed me. It was very passionate and I was kind of shocked that he did it. We decided to go on a date that next weekend and there he tells me he is going to india for a month to visit his family in a couple weeks. I was disappointed that he would be gone for so long, but I knew we would talk on the phone. So in the weeks before he left, we had more dates and a few make out sessions. Then he leaves, he calls me every day or instant messages me. He tells me how much me misses me, so intensely, and I could not get him to let me hang up the phone most of the time. Every day he is telling me he likes me more and more and how he can't wait to get back here so he can hold me. Well here we are 3 weeks into his trip, this last weekend he has not called me, messaged, and I called him and he says let me call you tomorrow sweetie pie. I say ok. No call back. I wait 2 days and I call him again, he says he has been sick, but I saw him online, and then I called him and says he is sick, then asks to call me back in 15 min. He never called back. I emailed, he has not emailed back. He comes home in 6 days. I am working on a project with one of his best friends who he grew up with in india, and I tell him my worries and he basically comes out and says that he has feelings for me...I told him that I don't want to betray my boyfriend (his best friend) and that while I do think he is an awesome guy, I really care for his friend. He came to my desk today and was telling me I looked very sexy today. How can someone who is supposed to be a good friend try to steal his girl. In a way I feel like I am being tested. I just don't know. I am so confused. Several other people I work with made jokes that my boyfriend was probably going to come back married, and just date me until he could bring his wife back from india. I just don't know what to think. I mean I don't know if I should say something to my boyfriend about his friend, but I don't want to start a big mess especially since we have just started working on this project at work. I guess right now he would have to call me first of all for me to tell him anything at all. What is my boyfriend really up to? Why would he lose interest over one day after being so passionate. We didn't even have sex!!! Lol

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28% Normal
Based on 36 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • Jen118584

    This all seems very strange to me. If I were you I would take a big step back. If the friend makes any more advances to you, let him know that you are not interested.

    a) It would be a very bad idea to cause office drama (where romantic relationships are usually discouraged in the first place) between two friends.

    b) You have no idea what the intentions of either of these guys are, so be wary, and don't be made a fool of. Protect yourself.

    c) If some sort of love triangle arises between the three of you, you will lose some, if not all, of your professional credibility and may become the subject of some unfavorable talk around the office.

    Your boyfriend's behavior is questionable and you have no idea what he is doing over there. He isn't keeping you informed, so he's not respecting you, in my opinion. Sure, maybe there's a perfectly reasonable explanation but he isn't considering the way all of this is seeming to you. And the friend putting the moves on you behind his back (or maybe not so behind his back) is just sketchy. Do the smart thing and just withdraw from this whole mess.

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  • I think you should really protect yourself by putting some distance between you & him. He comes on strong - then suddenly drops you? Pretty arrogant. You should not trust him. Your initial instincts were right so trust them.

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  • janvithebest

    He is testing you he thinks you might betray him After marriage. Or might have extra marital affairs. If he i not trusting you before marriage ow come he will trust you later. Be practical and find another guy who is white from here.
    Trust me post marriage consequences will be worst

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  • Aristacrima

    the man who went off is probably in some kind of obsessive state, his friend is just a pervert, it doesn't neccesarily have to deal with the fact that they're indian, but the fact that they are make it more scarier. I know, I have an Indian background and I don't blame people for thinking that indians are kinda sick lol... I think about them the same way! xD

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  • halboug

    u r probably confused because u never san an indian women in reality xD
    i would take a step back and maybe test him or something

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  • scandinavia

    tell us what happened with the story?!?!

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  • drmom

    Be careful. Your boyfriend may be testing you as you suspect. My father is Indian and married my mom who is from here. Same situation.... Well sort of. My dads family has always caused drama because of the cultural differences.

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  • This was one of Bud's fake posts...

    Well Bud even the girl you impregnated has doubts about you:
    http://isitnormal.com/story/is-it-normal-to-feel-scare-about-beening-pregnet-39022/#comment-342727

    Poor thing. I hope her Mom is strong enough to guide her way.

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  • acorn0101

    Hello!

    I am Indian, and I will tell you: BEWARE! If the man is Hindu, chances are he will come back with a wife. If he is Christian, he may be more civilized, like a fill human.

    I am Christian Indian, and I NEVER deal with Hindus. Never talk to them, etc. They are very manipulating, and have no true emotions. They will be nice to you, and then try to destroy you. I have personal experience.

    Try to get another, white man. Or Christian Indian. But do not get too attached.

    Do a google search: "Indian men white women" and read the stories of other people in similar situations. They are NOT good.

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    • jgol

      Your comment is absurd. There are several hundred million Hindus in the world and so it is ridiculous for you to make a sweeping generalization like that about Hindus.

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    • acorn0101

      Also, if you have questions, just reply. I'll check back,

      But if the man is Hindu or Muslim: BEWARE!

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  • xino00

    another excuse to ask for advice by another person.

    when will this sh* stop? people should use the damn forum for this

    all I have to say is.
    FARKING HELL, so much wall of text, it's like a book of love life O_O.

    And I don't farking like the title of this topic, sounds racist:/

    anyway, you should trust the guy. You need to look at mens motive, the way they talk to you and act.

    If men are always trying to say sexy stuff all the time, it means they have other girls they date behind your back.

    But from the fact that you met him, and kissed you and all that.
    The guy sounds legit, he wouldn't be the person to bring back a wife from India.

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    • Jen118584

      "another excuse to ask for advice by another person.

      when will this sh* stop? people should use the damn forum for this"

      What?!

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  • acorn0202

    Hello!

    I am Indian, and I will tell you: BEWARE! If the man is Hindu, chances are he will come back with a wife. If he is Christian, he may be more civilized, like a fill human.

    I am Christian Indian, and I NEVER deal with Hindus. Never talk to them, etc. They are very manipulating, and have no true emotions. They will be nice to you, and then try to destroy you. I have personal experience.

    Try to get another, white man. Or Christian Indian. But do not get too attached.

    Do a google search: "Indian men white women" and read the stories of other people in similar situations. They are NOT good.

    BEWARE!

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