Is it normal, to wonder about your doctor's sexuality?

60% Normal
30 Comments

I have this therapist who is LGBT friendly. I know that this doesn't have to mean that a person is gay, but for some reason, I can't help but to wonder if she is. It is just a vibe that I get with her. It's one of those things that is in the back of my mind when I think about her or see her. I keep wanting to ask, but I am worried that it might not be my place to ask. If my suspicions were in fact true, it wouldn't bother me, nor would it negatively effect the therapeutic relationship.

Is it normal for me to wonder this? Should I pluck up the courage to ask her?

Voting Results
60% Normal
Based on 45 votes (27 yes)
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Comments ( 30 )
  • anti-hero
    10 years ago

    If it doesn't matter, why do you need to know?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      It ended up mattering because, I was having concerns about my own sexuality.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      "Doesn't matter" as in the knowledge of it wouldn't personally effect me in a negative manner.

      Part of why I chose her, was because she caters to the LGBT community. I'm not entirely comfortable with my sexuality. Only a small amount of people, including this site, know what my orientation is. To everyone else, I am basically in the closet, so to speak. My family, since I was a very small child, have believed me to be gay and so have a few others. It has caused me a lot of distress over the years,

      It's not that have no connection with my doctor because, I do. But, it would be nice to be able to form of another connection with this. It would be nice to know whether she has actually experienced issues in regards to her sexuality or, if her knowledge comes from something not quite as personal, like experience from clients or text book training.

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  • tori
    10 years ago

    I ask mine anything that comes to mind. 99 percent of the time he will answer my questions.
    But to be fair, I've been going to him for years.
    All you can do is ask. If you can't ask questions to your therapist, she's not doing a good job.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Thank you. Its not that I can't ask, per se, its mainly that I lack the self-confidence to ask. She tells me that I can ask her anything as long as it isn't too personal. I don't want to make her uncomfortable so, a part of me always wonders whether or not what I have to ask would be considered too invasive and so on.

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      • Diver2
        10 years ago

        Maybe she will let you go down on her!!! Wouldn't that be a treat?

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          She is a professional of ethics. I am a client of ethics. I care about her and I certainly don't wish her to lose her job, license, etc. I am not a selfish twat. I am also not attracted to her, but even if I was, my moral fibre would still stand.

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  • CozmoWank
    10 years ago

    I think if you are discussing concerns about your own sexuality, then it is entirely appropriate to ask about your therapist's orientation. That way you can better evaluate what they have to say. Are they speaking from personal experience or just something they read in a book?!?!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I ended up asking her, because I had new concerns over my sexuality. Turns out that my suspicions were off. She is actually straight and married. However, she does have a lot of personal experience to back up her expertise.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Thank you. I have a feeling that the subject of sexual orientation will come up in my next appointment so, maybe this time I'll actually find the courage to bring this up. There's really no need for me to fear this, but I guess that I'm just worried that I'll offend her or make her uncomfortable. She's a pretty open-minded person so, hopefully, she'll be understanding towards this.

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    • Freedom_
      10 years ago

      I agree with this ^

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I doesn't really matter. I see no reason to ask this.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I did end up having to ask because I was concerned about my sexuality and I wanted to know if her expertise in the LGBT community came from actual experience or text book knowledge.

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  • Riddler
    10 years ago

    Why do you ever care? Would that make her any less qualified? I think its ridiculous you are making such a huge issue out of it.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      As I stated above, I was having a slight crisis over my sexuality. I thought that maybe we could relate this. I also was curious to know where her knowledge on the subject came from. If it just came for research and no actually experience, would she have been qualified enough to understand what I was going through? My sexuality is a huge fucking deal to me. I am not comfortable with it and to some extent, I still experiencing some denial. In some ways, what I needed was some comfort as well as understanding and, dare I say "closure", on this.

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      • Riddler
        10 years ago

        She either A.Studied it B.asked someone. its ridiculous to assume that people who are not gay know nothing about homosexuals. You really want to encourage ignorance?

        If you have to deal with these type of people you are going to have to know something about them. Your sexuality might be a huge deal. Hers is not! and you shouldn't harass her about it.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          What is wrong with you? You've completely misunderstood what I was trying to say. I wasn't harassing her over it. I would never dream of harassing this person. The woman has had an immersive background with the community. I am sure that she probably did have to study it when she went to university. Just because I am having issues with accepting my sexuality doesn't mean that I have an issue with others. Fuck, talk about ignorance! Look at the inaccurate shit you are spouting about me that is based on inaccurate assumptions! There's no need to bother if you are going to be such a close minded prick!

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          • Riddler
            10 years ago

            Sexuality does not determine how qualified you are. If she chose to work in this field and deal with people in the community she obviously doesn't mind gays. Her sexuality should not be a concern. Its stupid you make such an issue over it. Unless you want to be judged for who you are stop judging others on this type of nonsense. Gay or straight doesn't matter! Who you are does!

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              10 years ago

              I don't have an issue with other people's sexuality. The only issue I have is MY SEXUALITY! I am uncomfortable with it and it will probably take me a while to be proud and honest about it.

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  • barebackbottomboi
    10 years ago

    I would so give my dr a bj, then let him dowhat he wanted

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    • Diver2
      10 years ago

      You can suck me off and I will owe you one.

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  • peterr
    10 years ago

    My doctor asked me if any men had ever sucked my cock and I said a couple and the next thing I knew he was sucking me off in his office. Pretty good blowjob and yes, he swallowed.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Who cares?

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    There are these two friendly women who come though my checkout line at work, and I cannot figure out if they are "partners" or business partner friends. I am highly curious and would like to ask just to satiate my curiosity but know that would be highly inappropriate.

    It is normal to be curious, but instead of asking, I would try looking for conclusive clues.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I was completely off. She is actually straight.

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        Whoa! Was it awkward when you found out or anything?

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          It was a little awkward when I had to ask. I so worried that I was going to offend her. I was shocked when she told me the truth. She wasn't at all offended and apparently, I am not the first person who ended up getting a gay vibe from her.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I acknowledge that I could be reading into things, but on some of her professional profiles, it's like she puts extra emphasis on that fact that she caters to gay/lesbian clients as well as gay/lesbian issues.

      I get vibes about people I come in contact with and often if never, these gut feelings turn out to be true. For the life of me, I just can't picture this person being straight.

      As for your job, not only would it be inappropriate, as you know, it would also be terribly unwise. I'm not sure about store polices in general, but in some places asking such things could get you fired if there are any complaints.

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