Is it normal to wish your family were more of a unit?

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2 Comments

Is it normal to feel like you need a suppport base, such as family? My mother has long-standing narcissistic tendancies (stemming from emotional abuse in her childhood), which my sister has adopted. I did display them when I was younger but after years of hard work I have managed to find a happy life where I feel emotionally free and do not have these problems. The only thing is I sometimes feel sad that I do not have a family I can share joys with, as all they want to do is argue with one another or prove each other wrong or be disrespectful of others and their opinions. I know there is nothing I can do about it - I just would like to feel like I had a base, somewhere I could always be safe (other than my husband who is a wonderful base). I sometimes feel like it is very sad that people are unable to self-develop and I wish my family would understand emotional freedom, but I also understand that it is their choice.

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92% Normal
Based on 37 votes (34 yes)
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Comments ( 2 )
  • JenAus1217
    12 years ago

    I'm sorry about your mother and sister, but I feel happy for you as you've finally managed to have a happy life right now.

    I'd like to share my personal experience with you.

    My mother has four sisters. Her eldest sister has suffered from some serious mental illness for many years. I'm not sure what kind of illness it is but most of the time she has difficulty recognizing the things/people around her and she has delusions that the people around her all wanted to hurt/harm her. However, my mother always visits her and still treats her as her beloved sister.

    I remember years ago there were times when my mother and I had to leave my aunt's apartment suddenly during the visit because my aunt thought we were villains and she shouted at us.

    But as years passed by, my aunt has started to get a little bit better. At least she's convinced that my mother is her sister(although she doesn't actually recognize her). I remember how my mother would buy my aunt food and chat with her. I even heard them giggle together once.

    What I'm trying to say is that, it's possible for you to share joys with your family if you're willing to try. I'm sure your family's situation is better than my aunt's. It's very normal for you to long for a more united family. Your mother and sister are your closest family, except for your husband.

    I truly believe that where there's the family, there's home, no matter how the members of the family are doing. It may take a lot of effort/time for you to try, but I'm sure it's worth trying :)

    Good luck!

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    • jellybeans
      12 years ago

      Thank you for sharing your story with me, you are right I can have fun with them. I'm sorry you've had a tough time too.

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