Is it normal to want yourself to mean the world to someone?

91% Normal
10 Comments

I have lived for at least a quarter century and yet I never really felt that I meant the world to anyone before. I am a devoted person, I will go to all length to please the ones I loved such as sacrificing my time and money for them even though I'm in a tight position -- I know that love should be selfless and all, but is it wrong to want someone who can be as devoted as you are to him/her? Is it wrong to want to be loved back? Is it selfish of me to want it?

Thank you in advance for your replies.

Voting Results
91% Normal
Based on 78 votes (71 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • ebonysky
    12 years ago

    Sorry I misunderstood what you were asking. Every person deserves to feel wanted and needed. You get that feeling when you have kids, that's why most people fall in love to completely with children. But to have that with an adult is priceless. I broke up with my bf of 8 years because he didn't make me feel that way. Don't tell yourself that you don't deserve it because you do. But don't look for it, let love come your way and just keep your eyes open.

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    • hemper
      12 years ago

      really good advice, don't look for it (although that can be harder said than done :P) and it will find you.

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    • Ignareint
      12 years ago

      Thank you for your kind advice, it is much appreciated.

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  • NotANormie2012
    12 years ago

    It is not wrong or abnormal. But I would advise you to focus on meaning the world to yourself. Give your life its own meaning. Don't depend on someone else. And I do hope that you don't use the great lengths you go to as a measure of what everyone should do. Do what you're comfortable with, and expect others to do what they're comfortable with. If you don't like their limits, then politely move on. Again, not that you do this. But I know people who do, so I thought it might be valuable to add. Good luck.

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    • Ignareint
      12 years ago

      Thank you for your reply. Indeed, it is important not to expect people to be as devoted as you are, but even if I told that so many times to myself, I can't help but feel sad for not being loved as much as I love and sacrifice for them. I do love myself, but I also need others to love and accept me.

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  • karmasAbich
    12 years ago

    I'm still looking for the someone I will mean the world to. I'm like you, I go to stride to great lengths to put myself out there and show some devotion to my partner at the time, but it never works out. I know how you feel and it sucks not having it. Just focus on things you like to do. Get good at those things and you will make yourself feel good about who you are until you mean the world to yourself. That's what is really important. :)

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    • Ignareint
      12 years ago

      Hi, thank you for your advice. I do have several achievements that made me pretty proud and happy being myself, but I'm not very good at making friends. My mother used to reprimand me when I was a kid that I always got used by others. I only have a handful of friends, and I still hang out with them even though I sometimes did feel used because I don't know if I can befriend people other than them. Same goes to my work colleagues.

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  • iamwhoisayiam
    12 years ago

    I have had this problem with people forever. I was never tight but over time when people tell you they love that you're always there for them whenever you need them but you realize that's never been mutual. Same with relationships. Unfortunately that caused me to develop a selfish streak and change. They gota prove themselves to me first. Surprisingly it worked and I found more giving guys whom I became their world. However I found there are people who wil for no reason initially put you on a pedistal till eventually it wears of fairly quickly then they do it again weird. Its a real documented behavior and type of person so watch out for those. They start out intense and you are just amazing. Its super quick tho like before they even know you they think they know you and you can do no wrong. Its neat till they decide oh you're not who I imagined you were next! I searched for slow to build appreciation and feelings. Ruled out previous repetative errors and I went from being cheated and used to stay at home mom with a wonderful baby on the way. My husband adores me, accepts and understands all of me even the very ugly past, anything he could give is mine but I'm so used to a long time of being taken from it was very difficult to adjust and accept I finally did it.

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    • Ignareint
      12 years ago

      Thank you for your reply. It is awful how some people can just leave you when they don't need you anymore, and I do know at least 2 persons in my life just like that. Aside from what they did to me, I just hope they won't do that to other people in the future.

      In my case, what kind of irked me was when someone asked for help and still complained that I didn't response quick enough or not doing a good job in helping them, and then whined and tried to make you feel guilty about it.

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  • ifonlyuknew247
    10 years ago

    This is 100% normal, what I've been seeking my entire life. Unfortunately I have no advice for you, just empathy & the ability to reassure you it is indeed normal. But I'm glad you asked so I know I'm not alone & that I *am* normal. And this is good advice on this thread too.

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