Is it normal to want to torture and murder people in your head?
I've come to accept that most people do fantasise about killing other people in their heads - their boss, an idiot driver, an annoying customer - which is usually motivated by anger and frustration. That's not what I'm talking about here.
I was wondering whether it was normal to derive pleasure (sexual or otherwise) out of the thought of torturing and/or murdering someone.
Since I was 8, I've been fantasising about torturing people, especially late at night. By the time I reached my mid teens, the urges became more frequent, it had escalated to both torture and murder. Usually my fantasies featured someone I knew; most common were people who I was infatuated with or people who I felt disempowered by. The fantasies could be described as targeted scenes from movies like Saw or other gore movies, which is strange because I hate watching gore.
Of course, I don't think I would ever attempt anything like my fantasies in real life, but when I watch documentaries about serial killers, school shootings and sexual predators, I can't help but empathise with them on a very personal level. I understand how it feels to have their urges and desires. Of course, I also feel empathy for the victims and their families and so forth.
So, is it normal? Does anyone else have these urges in their head? And even if it isn't a common thing, is it still relatively harmless, or am I completely psychopathic?