Is it normal to want to spend all your time with your boyfriend?

56% Normal
10 Comments

in a 6 year relationship with my boyfriend, since we started dating we have been in each other shoes every second of the day. Recently my boyfriend got a job which i had a hard time processing but it had to be done. Now i see him mornings for an hr, evenings for about 5 hrs and weekends. Just recently he wanted to do some other stuff after work with out me and i don't think it's fair, i hardly get to spend any time with him now and he wants to spend more time away, He say's to me he's tired of not having time alone or time to play his Xbox or any thing he wants to do. He makes me feel s**t and it feels like he doesn't want this relationship.He says im not normal, i care to much, get a life! i talk to him, told him how i feel and how he makes me feel but i just don't know what to do any more with us or him. Do i need mental help? Am i not normal?

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 59 votes (33 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago

    It's okay to have time apart. Everyone needs a little time to wind down and relax (Like xbox) When they work. I know it's hard, especially since you're so used to it. But they say we never stop growing, and this is one of those situations where you have to try and grow an adapt. It's sounds silly, but this is actually a form of jealousy. Just try your best to stop and realize he's not really doing anything wrong. Just snuggle up next to him on your laptop when he's playing his games or something. Good luck! It's something almost eveyone goes through at some point it their life. It's normal, but also soomething you need to mentally work yourself through

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  • monkey4kitten
    11 years ago

    Lets me say one thing, i can and have done things without him, im not glued to him and if we broke up i can live without him, we broke up about 4 years ago and to be honest it was great but it felt like something was missing. I love having my own time away from him but i still want to spend our time together. These comments might be all my fault because im not very good at explaining my self through writing. Someone said about me having friends, no i dont have any not really because im a person who cant get along with any one but i do talk and text to one of my friends i have known for about 8 years. but neither does he and hasn't since we have been together.

    What i dont understand is that why should i be the one sitting around for him to tell me he wants to spend time with me, i mean if i let him do what he wants and wait till he comes running back then wouldn't that make me unhappy and him happy? I really want my future wit him but at the cost of me being happy? In my opinion girls have to sit back and wait for the things they want while men get to do what ever they want when ever they want anf how is that fair?

    Sorry im not having ago, just ranting.

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  • BlueJeansWhiteShirt
    11 years ago

    You seem to spend a lot of time with him.
    Remember, you are two individuals, you both have the right to separate lives. This means you should have time away from each other. You need spend time with your friends, if you have any left. You need a hobby. Do something by yourself. Don't cling on to him and act obsessed. It really isn't healthy. If he was to ever leave you, your life would be pretty much over because he IS your life. It sounds as if your whole entire life revolves around him and that is sad.
    There is miles more to life than having a relationship.

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  • Sog
    11 years ago

    Six hours a day, every day, plus weekends is actually a lot of time together. It sounds like the problem isn't time but activities and interests.

    Why don't you try to compromise? Give him some time by himself, or maybe even play some videogames with him. And in exchange come up with some ideas for going out after work together a few times a week.

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    • monkey4kitten
      11 years ago

      Hi, i do play games with him and i do give him his own space and im fine with that because he's still here, its when and if he wants to go out to spend time alone or strangers. We broke up because he cheated on me with one of his mates friends but that wasn't just the whole reason, he kept on choosing his mate over me all the time, for example, if we had plans, he would cancel them to be with him when ever he called. Also the girl he cheated on me with he was talking to her about our problems by text and face to face, also, he choose to talk to her while we where, best way of putting is having our own time together. His mate was my best friend and we where very close until my boyfriend came on the scene and he turn nasty towards me. Any way there not in our lives any more but its the thought of him making new friends and it all happens again.

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  • Energy
    11 years ago

    I like my own space too, but he sounds a bit mean about it. Maybe you need someone like yourself. Because its really hard for someone who likes space for themselves to be with someone who wants you there 24/7.

    If you do want your relationship to work then you really do have to give him space. As much as he wants. No one likes to be forced to spend time with someone. It has to come naturally.

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    • monkey4kitten
      11 years ago

      Hi, put it this way, this is as i see it because it's how i feel but if he had a chance he wouldn't be here at all unless its bed time or morning. But he would still expect me to do things like, wash his work clothes, his dinner, clean up after him and fine we live with my parents still because we can't afford a place yet but he always expects me to ask my dad for lifts for him here and there all the time because our bus route is S**T!

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      • Energy
        11 years ago

        Wow, so you're basically his slave?! It shouldn't be this way, he should be doing all those things for you. I say leave him, you deserve way better.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    It is healthy to spend some time each week doing your own thing (socially). I'm sorry to say this but your expectations might be a little on the obsessive side and it doesn't sound like your boyfriend appreciates it. But if that is what you expect, then perhaps you should find someone who matches your expectations.

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    • monkey4kitten
      11 years ago

      we both work from 8 4 weekdays and i didn't mean i want to spend every second with him literally, i meant it as that's how i feel. We have an understanding of that if he does his half of things that needs to be done when he comes home that he can do what ever he wants till tea or our shows are on. While he is playing his games or reading his books or what ever, i do what i want. I love spending time away from him, im not 100% obsessed with him. Its just that things are changing and it feels like he is pushing me away, that he doesn't want me around any more, he wants me to be a mummy figure rather than his girlfriend.

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