Is it normal to want to separate from friends when college starts?

84% Normal
4 Comments

I have this one friend who likes to do a lot of things with me. When we entered high school she wanted me to join the same high-learning program as her(I refused, I chose a different one) and she wanted me to take a lot of the same classes and yadda yadda. I was okay with that. I'm a few years away from college right now but we've had two conversations about it.

One time she told me to go to the same local university she was going to(we live in the city) and trust me, that school is not one of my choices. I told her kindly no and she playfully got upset

The next time we talked about college, I told her one of my choices for college would be in England(and it is true) and she started rambling about going to college together, riding the airplane and being roommates and so on. I smiled and went along with it but tried to change the subject as quickly as possible.

Truth be told, I don't want to go to college with her. When I go to California, or NY, or England, I want to go ALONE. She just seems a little too clingy. I want to do my own thing, meet new people and have the experience of having a roommate that I haven't met before. I don't want to do everything with her.

Is it normal to want to separate from her and some of my other friends when I go to college? Do you think my opinion will change as I get closer to graduating?

Voting Results
84% Normal
Based on 77 votes (65 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    it's normal to want to cut end a childhood friendship as you prepare to go off to college. you should kindly tell her your expectations for the future of your friendship with her though. if you just try to ditch her, it would be a douchey thing to do.

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  • soccer2
    13 years ago

    Agree with above poster.
    However she is still ur friend. Be as nice as possible when u tell her. But u can still be friends and go to different colleges. U can still keep in touch and stuff. Plus it might be nice to have someone to talk to that knows u so well and is from the samenplace as u

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  • [email protected]
    11 years ago

    I come from the UK and started university a year ago, but my situation was similar to yours. My years in primary and secondary school as well as sixth form (pre university) were spent as part of a large group of friends. In hindsight, we weren't people who would have naturally gravitated together and as the years progressed our differences became more evident. This time last year I realised that I had 'outgrown' my friends; not that I was better than them or anything, we had developed distinct interests which we were all going to pursue on different paths. We went on one last group holiday in the Summer then started university in the Autumn. Over time, aside from the occasional "Hey, how you doing?" message we've lost contact - upon starting university you meet lots people with more compatible interests and world views. The three year relationship I have with my girlfriend has remained strong but otherwise, my friendship group has drifted their different ways and met new people. So yes, your situation is perfectly normal

    Also, I take it you're a few years away from university. Even a few months before I applied, what I thought I was going to be studying and where I was considering going to changed completely. Move out of town for university, as that in itself is a very good experience and do not tie yourself to your friend, don't discuss university with her and certainly, if she brings the subject about applying to various colleges up say you're "still considering". When push comes to shove and she asks you why you're refusing to apply to the same institutions as her, simply say that the course prospectus isn't what you are interested in!

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  • mr.jiiiiigles
    13 years ago

    Ur a jerk

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