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Here's the bottom line, IIN. My husband is addicted to porn. Prefers digital girls he can't touch to a real actual woman. And I'm about ready to call it quits because I need affection. It's been 10 years of this - is it normal for me to want to leave him?
Tell him he doesn't have a right to touch his weiner unless he's taking a wee-wee.
Yep, this is normal. Theres no point in being in a lonely, unfulfilled, relationship.
Yes, it’s normal. In a relationship it’s important that both people feel cared for and respected. Have you tried engaging him in an open conversation about why he has stopped being intimate with you? Maybe it would help if you both had a chance to share your feelings and understand where the other person is coming from.
Yes, I have tried engaging with him about it. I've opened up our marriage to porn. I've tried to enjoy it with him. I've tried to more like the webcam girls he watches. I've written him messages where I've asked why don't you want to have sex with me? and he's just ignored them. I don't think there's anything else I can do. Unless, of course, I started doing my own webcam shows? Ha.
You could ask him if he'd be into you doing webcam shows. Idk about this one this seems shitty but then again kids need a father figure so I commend you for trying to work it out.
I have no idea, but I really hope it works out for you. Tell him you're gonna have to leave if it continues.
This is part of the reason I left my husband years ago, along with his jealousy and trust issues. Now I have a boyfriend who can't get enough of me and I can't get enough of him. It's a wonderful life.
It's normal to feel lonely, uncared for and undervalued if your partner isn't showing you any signs of affection.
Have you tried doing whatever acts are depicted in the porn he watches though, with him? Maybe he has a fetish, which you're PERFECTLY WITHIN YOUR RIGHTS to refuse to do if it freaks you out of course, but if you don't do it, him watching porn could be his own selfish way of fulfilling those needs he has which you haven't been fulfilling for him.
If you initiate sex by engaging in his fantasies, he might take that as some sort of "acceptance" that he's not some weird freak and be willing to put his porn down, and concentrate more on you.
If this works and you do end up having sex again, maybe you can let him know how good it feels knowing that you've got him concentrating on you for once rather than porn, and it may make him realise that he doesn't need porn to feel satisfied.
I repeat though, it's TOTALLY NORMAL to not feel loved or cared for properly when your partner chooses porn over you.
See here's the thing. I've tried suggesting we watch together. I've tried changing my body to look like his favourite webcam girls. He's also into erotic literature and I'm a writer so I've even written him his own erotic literature. Nothing works. I can be in bed reading a book and he will literally go downstairs and wank instead of coming to sleep with me. It's been 10 years of this and it's affected me and obliterated my confidence and I'm finally ready to move on and be happy, I think. We have kids, so I'm trying to be 100000000% percent sure this is what I want first. But I don't want to be in a celibate marriage. I want my partner to crave me. My husband has never once asked for sex. If I didn't initiate, we just didn't have it. All of my female friends are always amazed that my husband doesn't ask for sex. They're constantly complaining about having to push off their partners and I'm desperate for that. I just want to be wanted.
I think he must have a deep dark secret that he doesn't want to tell you despite being with you 10 years and he's clearly extremely unresponsive and selfish.
It's completely normal to not want a celibate marriage and want a man who craves you though. He doesn't appear to be that man from what you say.
The fact that kids are a part of the equation makes it 10 times more difficult, too. But if you're ready to leave him, I'm sure there are plenty of single men who also have kids from previous relationships, who know what it means to be a dad and would give you the kind of relationship you want.
For one last hurrah, you could try a chastity cage. That might work?
Okay, here's what you can do.
1. Install a keylogger onto the computer he uses.
2. See if there's something he doesn't want to tell you about in the keylogger.
3. Confront him with it.
4. Profit.
Move on.
its easy for me to blame either one of you.
Im sure there are two sides to every story.
But, after 10 years.
Its time to change.
Maybe you are fat, smelly, and a lazy hoarder.
Maybe he is fit, showers daily and gags when you get near him.
Maybe its ths opposite.
Who can tell, from here.
It works or it doesnt.
It takes 2.
just learn deepthroat and be patient at anal. He will choose you over porn!