Is it normal to want to know my girlfriend's taste in girls?

73% Normal
4 Comments

Often times, my idea of an attractive female differs from the traditional definition. I like skinny to skinny-medium girls with pale skin, thick dyed hair of any color (not a fan of natural blonde but instead bleach blonde), unsharp facial features but sharp/seductive eyes. Height doesn't matter generally, but I tend to like shorter girls. I also have a thing for piercings and gages. TL;DR, I'm weird.

Back on point, I tend to point out people, male and female, I find ugly or pretty/handsome when I watch TV or movies with my girlfriend. I like hearing what she has to say about these people, although I'm not sure why. I would compare these conversations to ones a person would have with a close family member, typically a parent or cousin. So, any ideas on why I like doing this? And more importantly, IIN?

Bonus is it normal (comments only, please): I like hearing what my girlfriend thinks of these people we see on TV, but it makes her feel uncomfortable to hear me talk negatively about girls she finds attractive. She thinks that because I find them ugly, I must find her ugly as well, as she finds them more attractive than herself. Is that normal?

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73% Normal
Based on 37 votes (27 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago

    Oh man.. my boyfriend does this. I get annoyed cause I try to stay positive about everything, and I believe everyone is beautiful in their own way. I personally see it as negative. I put up with it and try to play along sometimes, but deep inside, I see it as a total downer...He'll point out a couple in a restaurant and be like "Holy crap, that's an ugly guy. How can she be dating him?" Like there's this whole scale of who deserves who, just because they look a certain way. Drives me nuts. I'm sure that your giflfriend is feeling a bit different towards it apposed to how I am.. but people are all different, and we have different views. Not all girls are happy with their bf rating other girls, but some are. My suggestion is to respect her wishes.. Keep to yourself if you can

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  • myboyfriendsbitch
    11 years ago

    My boyfriend and i do this all the time. I think we've actually come to the point that our preferences meet near the middle, as if observing and judging other people helps us identify our elusive selves. I like to let him know which women and men (though apprehensively) I find attractive. I absolutely love it when our tastes match up. I love when he finds strong, independent brunettes attractive, but I was very disappointed when he admitted his former inclination to Brittany Spears (ick!)... even though I understand why he found her attractive (the school girl costume in that one video). Likewise, I can tell he is pleased when I find an arrogant ass type character attractive.

    I think most people compare themselves to others, so perhaps in wanting to know what your girlfriend finds attractive in a woman you are really wanting to know what characteristics she admires, what she is slowly striving to become.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Only some women are like this (and men too).

    Due to heuristics, everyone instinctually attributes positive characteristics to those they find physically attractive, whether the subject actually has those positive traits or not. So, if we know our mate's physical preferences, we know how they will favour people in this way, including ourselves.

    Your girlfriend is relating herself to the women she finds physically appealing and it's natural she'd be upset if you didn't find the woman she is identifying with as attractive.

    If you end up telling her you don't find one of them attractive, make sure you follow it up with a statement about how your girlfriend's beauty is different and preferable to the other woman's. Although, she should realize you wouldn't be with her if you didn't find her physically appealing (but don't say this to her). You could also point out how you adore her for some of her non-physical traits as well - traits you don't see in the women she's comparing herself with.

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  • dappled
    11 years ago

    I've been out with plenty of bisexual women so this conversation is really commonplace for me. I've also been out with people who liked being rather rude about other people's appearances, i.e.

    Her? My God, no. She looks like Georgie Thompson just after being hit in the face with a hedgehog (she was a bit spotty).

    The girlfriend in question did like to compare herself to famous people. She thought she looked like Liv Tyler (which she would have done if Liv Tyler was a man) and if I didn't think Liv Tyler was pretty, then she'd be all frustrated.

    To finally answer your question, though, attractiveness isn't really a universal scale and everyone's tastes are personal. For instance, I don't find Britney Spears or Mila Kunis attractive in the slightest. It doesn't mean they aren't, of course, or that others wouldn't find them so. The natural reaction from some people would be to tell me I'm wrong about their attractiveness. But I'm not wrong about their attractiveness "to me". And that's my point. It's a personal thing. This isn't the way to explain it to your girlfriend, though.

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