Is it normal to want to kill people?
I have a strong desire to kill. I used to think it was due to my anxiety, but I have since gotten that taken care of. I do get the urge when I am angry at someone specifically... My therapist says it is OCD, but most of my urges to kill come to me when my head is clear, and I have control of my actions.
Whenever I think about it, my mouth starts to water. I also fantasise about eating potential victims- painstakingly cutting them up, and cooking them. Each fantasy I get seems to make me feel like I would be fulfilled in some way...
I've tried all sorts of activities, exercises, and medicines to distract myself from acting on my urges, but none of them feel the same as the the mouth-watering fantasies in my head.
Sometimes I get a bit too rough with my pets and loved ones, and I have a history of being violent to my younger siblings. I'm not afraid of killing, but I am afraid of getting in trouble, and losing a source of attention and love...
The urges have been getting more and more difficult to control. I'm afraid I may end up hurting someone, and not being able to be free again.