Is it normal to want to kill people?

I have a strong desire to kill. I used to think it was due to my anxiety, but I have since gotten that taken care of. I do get the urge when I am angry at someone specifically... My therapist says it is OCD, but most of my urges to kill come to me when my head is clear, and I have control of my actions.

Whenever I think about it, my mouth starts to water. I also fantasise about eating potential victims- painstakingly cutting them up, and cooking them. Each fantasy I get seems to make me feel like I would be fulfilled in some way...

I've tried all sorts of activities, exercises, and medicines to distract myself from acting on my urges, but none of them feel the same as the the mouth-watering fantasies in my head.

Sometimes I get a bit too rough with my pets and loved ones, and I have a history of being violent to my younger siblings. I'm not afraid of killing, but I am afraid of getting in trouble, and losing a source of attention and love...

The urges have been getting more and more difficult to control. I'm afraid I may end up hurting someone, and not being able to be free again.

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Comments ( 17 )
  • I feel the same way! Except for me it happens when my head is not clear. It’s like I’m becoming a dog with rabies.
    Try taking up hunting or fishing. You can kill things without getting in trouble.

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    • piglet77777

      You two should read my post. I want the opposite. I want to be the one killed, cooked and eaten.

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  • fbiprofiler62

    🤢 That's fucked up! Talk to a therapist!

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  • jaystrong

    Always think of your possibly victims and not just yourself and your desires ... those people have family and friends. Think about the complete sadness and void you would cause if you did something so horrific. Now put yourself in someone else's shoes. Someone is attacking you with a weapon or even with their hands - it's scary. Imagine if it were one of your family members that were killed. How would you feel, how would you comfort those around you that loved that person. It wouldn't be something you would want to live with. Death is forever and you can't reverse an action like that.

    Please consider help. Find some other urge you can do that wouldn't hurt others. Even if it doesn't seem to satisfy your major urge it'll at least fill something. You have no excuse not to.

    We all have urges, things we'd love to do both good and bad. Some would love to be a rock star, a sports hero and on and on. Instead we fill our lives watching and listening to the things we love to make up for these things we can't or won't be.

    Whenever I feel the need to do something "bad" I turn around and do something good. Go above and beyond. Maybe you haven't seen the love and joy in people's eyes by simply handing a stranger on the street some food, or donate your time to help those in need. Elderly, poor, kids etc.
    After time you'd see the good you've done and others would too. It's like giving gifts at Christmas. It feels so much better to give than receive.

    Please get help for yourself and for others.

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  • brookelexx

    i’m sorry, but it is not normal to have these thoughts. we all have our frustrations and triggers, however there’s a point where you need to realize that they could harm others significantly if you ended up acting on them (which obviously you have and that’s good). it’s good that you don’t necessarily WANT to do this. you’re worried about it happening. i think that shows that there is room to change. i see you have a therapist now, but maybe you should do some googling and try a different therapist. the therapist/patient relationship is a huge factor in your road to a better life. you don’t have to stick with one or the other and it’s a good idea to try different ones. i feel like maybe the therapist you have now isn’t sure how to deal with this or isn’t taking you seriously but obviously it’s a serious issue. I really hope you are able to get help and I hope you get on the right track to a better, happier life. :)

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  • horny_simpletons

    Thinking about eating people and being rough with your family members/friends/pets is not normal, you need help before you seriously hurt or end up actually killing someone.

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  • piglet77777

    Look at my post. I want to be killed. cooked and eaten

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  • Rin_chan

    I'd kill dangerous people and violent people and people who do things that I find sick and disgusting those are the people I'd kill the lust of ending evil lives are my go to

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  • PsychoticWeirdo

    I feel you, I randomly want to kill things to..

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  • Jackhammer99

    I think of the human race as a parasite. They pollute the air, they breed like rats. I don’t have any friends, I cut, I’ve attempted suicide on 3 different occasions. I treat Halloween like a purge night. I save all of my desires until that night. I’d say harming yourself is fun. But harming others that DESERVE IT; That’s a feeling unlike any other. ive cut up a mugger who was threatening to kill my dog if I didn’t give him my valuables. I cut deep into his left shoulder. I kicked the shit out of one of those killer clown things with my fucking wooden baseball bat till he was bleeding everywhere and begging for it to stop (he came at me with a machete, so it was self defense), other things I don’t have time to explain, all on Halloween night, when those rats are out and about. I would like to take a moment to tell everyone that I did this without breaking the law once. I do not intend to break the law, but self defense is self defense, and it IS justifiable. If anything, (although I shouldn’t be), I’m actually helping the community in a way- by scaring off “bad” people. I haven’t killed anyone. I don’t want people going out LOOKING for trouble, but go out ready for it because it sure is fun as fuck.

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  • Heloworld

    ;o

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  • Babygirl2382

    Looks like you're not telling your therapist the whole story. Show her this post and she wont think its "just ocd"

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    • anonymWithQuestions

      I have told her everything. She just doesn't have an answer.

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      • lonewolf1253

        Probably just brushing you off. It's much easier to dole out meds for OCD that to address the real problem.

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  • Hateful1

    Have you ever killed anything in your life? Go kill a squirrel. Then as you say, painstakingly cut them up, and cooking them. If you still want to kill after that then take up hunting.

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    • anonymWithQuestions

      I've gone fishing and hunting before, as well as butchering venison with my grandfather. It felt good, but not quite the same as what is in my head. Though butchering the deer was probably the closest.

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      • Hateful1

        But did you kill the deer? Did you drag it out of the woods? Did you gut it yourself?

        Or did you just cut up some meat?

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