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I have a brother thats older than me and is always mean to me.I have to give him anything he wants or else he'll beat me up.He hurts me,makes fun of me,and does anything to make my life miserable.I hate him!
Yup. When my brother and I were kids I had a serious, deep-seeded hate for him. I loved him...but I really fucking hated his guts. I wanted him to die, and we would get into the occasionally violent fight.
It's normal that you want to kill your brother. My brother would also say mean things about me, TO me. He insults me and I'm sick of it. He would slap me, hit me, shove me, taunt me, and punch me. He does it because he is trying to prevent me from doing something for his own satisfaction. He doesn't share anything. Once when I was 4, he was doing something on the computer that he wasn't supposed to. He told me not to tell my grandma but I tried to because I wanted to do the right thing. So I called my grandma's name and then he just started choking me, preventing me from saying anything else. I couldn't breathe so I screamed even louder for help and he squeezed even harder and pushed my head onto the bed. Then he punched the wall. Because of that, I got asthma. My asthma attacks would last 2 weeks and happens 9 times a year. It was really painful. He is a disgrace to our family. Everything he does that is wrong or would make my mom mad, I get the blame for it. When I try to explain, my parents would cut me off and yell at me even louder and then I get spanked. I try to fight back but he would hurt me even more. So I take it out on my friends and teachers which makes everyone hate me. It still happens. I think about killing him like 10 times a day. I don't want to take it out on people from school anymore so now I cut. And I can't stop. HELP ME, I FUCKING HATE MY BROTHER!!!!!!
In the right mind yes. Who in the right mind wouldn't want to. Heed this warning though words are stronger than actions don't do something you will regret. Sit down and have a conversation about this matter. In time you will still love him though. Ask what might be bothering him.
I would say its normal to have those feelings as long as you dont actually act on them. Have you told your parents about his behavior? I am the youngest of 3 girls and my middle sister always picked on me. Basically because my oldest sister always picked on her so it was a never ending thing. As you both get older the beatings will stop I promise. Hang in there.