Is it normal to want to kill

I won't lie i fantasize about it,Ive talked to close "friends" about it and everyone agrees im fucked up. i have no emotion for anyone or anything, ill blowup at my cats for no reason and want to hurt them but i hold back, in public if someone eyes me the wrong way i want to kill them, i have to fake everything, smiling laughing talking is all a chore i feel nothing for anyone. i wont sleep on my stomach cause i feel exposed i can barely shower cause i feel exposed i always feel like their is a threat around. everyone feels untrust worthy and like a threat i just wish i could actually get close to someone or put myself in their shoes but that cant happen, its like i get this feeling that gets stronger and i cant control myself anymore