Is it normal to want to kill?

31 Comments

I want to KILL

Hi. My name is M---. I am 19. While in high school I had these urges to self-harm to release the evil in myself. About 2 years ago I recently found that it stop working. I moved on to wanting to kill. The urges come over me and I cant stop them. My thoughts dont scare me but I will be honest I am ashamed that I think this way. When my urges pile onto me they begin hissing "let me out". I have imagined killing people in vivid details before. As far as kidnapping, torturing, then obviously brutally killing them. I constantly think about how I would improve my techniques by researching serial killers. To say none the less I'm obsessed with (the zodiac) serial killer(s). The feeling of killing someone can just pop up at anytime. I learned that I can be perfectly happy and then something sparks. My mind snaps "I want to kill her/him". An example would be my aunts friend; Jill. I looked at her and my brain took over "I want her". Jill needed to go to her house to get an air mattress. I asked if I could go with her. The urge got even stronger. I wanted to choke her with my bare hands. When people make me angry it's even worse. Recently my best friend and I got into a fight. I thought of ways to kill her family without leaving a trace. People usually cant see through me. I've been spending a significant amount of time with my aunt lately. While at a pool party (July 4th) somehow serial killers came up. She said "M---, out of all my nieces you would be the serial killers/mass murder". I told her that "I was flattered" truly I was! She's the only one who has ever seen through me before. I want people to know what I really am but I don't at the same time. I want to protect my family from this monster in me. To date I have not killed anyone.....YET. What's wrong with me? Am I a psychopath? I need answers?

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Comments ( 31 )
  • S16400490
    6 years ago

    Where in the Caribbean?

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    • It_isnt_normal
      6 years ago

      Trini

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      • S16400490
        6 years ago

        Do you phone a cell phone? iPhone? If you do they is an app called Textfree. The app has a purple bubble with the word text in it and a gray bubble with the word free in it. You pick any phone number you want and we can "text". Without giving personal info out. If you can find it let me know.

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        • It_isnt_normal
          6 years ago

          I got a Samsung not iphone

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          • S16400490
            6 years ago

            I just looked Samsung has it too. My number on the app is 623-335-6119

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            • It_isnt_normal
              6 years ago

              I only see an app called (textfree xp) with the wrd textfree in a big purple bubble and xp in a small purple bubble. Smh

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    • S16400490
      6 years ago

      We need to chat in private some how!

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      • It_isnt_normal
        6 years ago

        And yh I wish we could chat private or even meet up.

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        • S16400490
          6 years ago

          Can we private chat? I don't know if you want too.

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          • It_isnt_normal
            6 years ago

            I want to...but how?? lol

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  • It_isnt_normal
    6 years ago

    Hmm I have similar urges like this and it made me ended up killing a guy and raping his daughter. They deserved it tho, its a long story.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      Were you ever arrested? How do you control your urges if you still have them?

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      • It_isnt_normal
        6 years ago

        I'm extremely bipolar so I try really hard to avoid ppl who I think would piss me off, but that's just the killing part, I can't control my urge to rape if I get the chance to. Whenever I see a slim girl with a nice ass I immediately think of pinning her down with my muscular arms and forcing my dick deep inside of her butt, it's just a weird fetish I developed after a series of events.

        And no I never get arrested bcuz whatever I do is carefully premeditated.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          6 years ago

          It's nice talking to you...someone who gets me! I'm very fascinated with you. How many people have you killed? How did it make you feel? I really want to kill but I don't want to get caught...obviously.

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          • Anonymous Post Author
            6 years ago

            How do you kill? Knife? Gun? Hands?
            Details!!!!

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            • It_isnt_normal
              6 years ago

              Fascinated?? lol....anyways I use whatever I can except guns and anything that's too big or heavy, I try to shed as little blood as possible, if I need to do any cleaning I use a mixture of chlorine, vinegar, alcohol & salt. I cover my whole body including hands, wearing a rubber gloves then a leather glove over it. Also I take time into consideration and I limit the amount of ppl I socialize with.
              Most importantly I only kill guys, if a female drives me to rage I'll take another path rather than murder her.

              Wait a min are you male or female?

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  • Morrow
    6 years ago

    I think you need a hobby (aside from researching serial killers). An idle mind tends to go to dark places, and come up with disturbing ideas.

    It happens to me sometimes on the subway. I'm really bored, so I just think of torturing the guy that just shoved me. But to go as far as to start doing research is... a little disturbing.

    If you're really worried about acting out on these urges, then you should see a therapist.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      I understand what you're say about a hobby...I'm a full time student and I have a full time job. I also constantly hangout with friends. I honestly don't know when I could fit in a hobby. I'll try to find something. Thank you for your help.

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