Is it normal to want to hurt my bf when i'm sad?

38% Normal
13 Comments

I love my boyfriend and would do anything for him. When all is good between us I always make him food, bring him beer and washes his clothes. Whatever that can make him happy, I will do it! But when I do, I expect something in return. He tells me that he loves me and thinks about me and wants to make me happy, but he doesn't do anything that can be compered to the things that I do for him. And when I don't get what I expect from him, I get upset, and I want to do things that make him sad. For example, this weekend I stayed at his place. And I didn't have to get back for my school so I stayed longer. But he didn't have much time for me after work, and when he had we didn't do something -together-. He thinks we did, but we didn't. But he is really nice, yesterday he used all the day trying to fix my computer. But I would rather see a movie with him and have sex with him. And this evening, after work, he went for a job thing, that he didn't need to, he didn't even get paid. Then I left. I told him that maybee I would leave before he got back, and he asked me to send him a message if I did. But I haven't, because I hope he will get sad when he sees that I'm not there. But I washed his clothes. Haha. But I just want him to do things for me as well. Is that normal? :s it is possible that I expect alot from him. He does have a job, and I only have studies. We live two hours away from each other. I have told him that I expect more attention from my bf, but he can't understand. And he tells me that he tries his best. Any tips? What can I do to not want to say or do things to upset him like he does to me?

Voting Results
38% Normal
Based on 60 votes (23 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • Thatguy777
    10 years ago

    Fuck relationships.

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    • davesumba
      10 years ago

      Fuck bitches.

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      • Holzman_67
        10 years ago

        and snitches

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  • (s)aint
    10 years ago

    " But he is really nice, yesterday he used all the day trying to fix my computer. But I would rather see a movie with him and have sex with him"

    He didn't spent the day doing things with you, he did things FOR you . That's pretty nice behaviour of him!

    I'm kinda the same like you are, I'm VERY needy as a person and I crave a whole lot of attention and devotion from my boyfriend to be happy. An easy trick to see if you are with someone worthy of your time and your love is to withdraw a bit from him, if he follows like my boyfriend does and texts you or cuddles you even more if you are grumpy and withdrawn he is a keeper.
    My ex just shrugged me off and told me he wasn't going to reward my behaviour with attention, dumped his ass.

    You mention that you want him to do things for you, what exactly is it that you would require from him to be happy? You should maybe sit down and think these things through and then try to make him understand how important these things are for you.

    I'd also say that you are normal for wishing to get back at him ...xD Like this time some weeks ago, my BF didn't reply to my nonsense texts for four hours so when he did reply, I waited about half an hour to reply myself and since it was through FB he knew that I had read them. I felt superior that I was making him wait ...then it turned out that he had just smiled and called me adorable when I did reply ...xD

    Back to the topic, both of you need to work together for this to work out for you. You need more than he can give and the only real solution is to try and compromise, both of you.

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    • lovelifemiss12
      10 years ago

      i like this as i feel same ! what do you mean by "withdrawn" ?:)

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      • (s)aint
        10 years ago

        Like, if he's used to you being all over him you should take some steps back! If he's a good boyfriend he'll text you when you don't text him as one example. Then again I do admit to being immature in these things xD

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        • lovelifemiss12
          10 years ago

          oh no id feel thay would push him away that hed think im loosin interest?:/ last thing want lol

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          • (s)aint
            10 years ago

            This of course depends on how much you text him on a regular basis. Myself if I don't contain it can text my BF like ten times if he doesn't reply ... I'm awful xD

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  • robbieforgotpw
    10 years ago

    Nice book bro

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  • ibreathelectric
    10 years ago

    This is absolutely not normal. You are trying to keep the score even and this will NEVER work. Relationships are most certainly NOT about keeping score or making things 'even'. If you truly love him, you will do things for him with absolutely nothing expected in return. If you feel the relationship is one sided, then get rid of him and find somebody who reciprocates in the way you would like. But don't have these kinds of expectations, it will only leave you frustrated and always wanting.

    Love is just love.

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  • supaflyafro
    10 years ago

    hes doing something tat is ore enjoyable to him. a solution and idea would be to make one thing ore challenging for him that he likes a lot from u or just make urself less available

    i seriously dont see how he cant use that time to wanna fuck all day. o.0

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  • lilmich
    10 years ago

    Don't wash his clothes all the time, it's like you're going there to be his servant!
    If you are doing all of that nice stuff for him and he is not being nice back then stop doing it. Maybe then you will be in a equal relationship.

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  • megadriver
    10 years ago

    Talk with the guy more. Explain what you want. Ask him to go see a movie... Give him a hint. Sometimes us guys don't give such stuff much thought. Do stuff together. Ask him to do the dishes for example... I live with my girlfriend and I mostly do the cooking and half the cleaning. In fact, we cook together. I'm the better cook, but she helps me. We manage to turn a chore into something nice. Add some music and a beer or two and cooking can be very enjoyable. Cleaning still is boring, but I do the vacuuming and she does the rest.
    Also we try every week to go somewhere. To a movie, on a walk, to the pub, or even out for a drive.

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